There was a big Yule Festival today. I almost went. I even had Sareva make me a new dress. It was perfect, Ma twisted my hair into rings that made me feel beautiful but as I was getting ready to leave Timothie’s house I looked back at my parents. There they were holding hands before the fire and I just couldn’t leave them. No matter how many times Pa says they are doing alright, I am struggling to believe that they are really back and safe after being kidnapped and held in a tiny room for nearly a month.
Timothie has been really great. I know he wonders why I keep saying no when he asks me to marry him… but he is my cousin! It just doesn’t feel right… I know not blood. But still… I love him just not that way.
Ma has told me to talk about my feelings and to write about what happened with the kidnapping. She says this will help me to process the events of the past month. Those beautiful brown eyes of Ma have a way of looking at me and knowing just what to say. What would I have done if I had never seen those eyes again? I eventually have found the wisdom of her words and I am going to try and write out what happened to see if it can help me feel settled inside.
It started with a boy. I met a handsome trader named Cole that spun my head around with flattery and gifts. A new blue dress, a book of poems, and maps were just a few examples of the gifts he showered upon me. This attention made me think this wealthy and kind man wanted to be something… more? I don’t know. He seemed like someone even Ma and Pa would accept! The day he agreed to meet my parents was when this all started. It began with such hope and ended in misery.
The smell of smoke was the first sign of trouble; a smoke that was more than a campfire and had an off odor. I will never forget how the house looked after fire had ravaged the place. I thought they were dead when I saw it and my heart felt as it had been ripped apart but I found my Pa’s hat outside. He goes everywhere in that hat and if it was not burned I still had hope! We could not see the remains of any bodies either. I was sick. Literally, all over my shoes. Cole suggested we check in town and that started a wild run around town. Sythi joined us in helping ask about for more information. Once I found that there was no news of my parents from Barliman or the Town Hall I went right to the home of Qais. As a watcher, I thought he may have ideas on how to help. The night is a bit of a blur. I don’t think my memory is serving me well for I was in such a state of shock and panic. I hardly registered the words Qais was telling me before I thought my parents may have gone to my home. The men came with me to the bakery where a note was on my door. Held up by a dagger.
The dagger was really old looking and I see it in my dreams often. Well, nightmares.
The noted demanded our family savings. The money we have been saving to buy a large farm with, one day. I was to meet on the bridge west of Bree to do an exchange for them at the full moon. It is awful to even write about this.
Adrie really helped me and my other friends get through this time. She and Qais helped wash my dishes. Adrie made sure I took a bath! I can’tbelieve how bad I let myself smell.
Cole had to travel. Left a note... but I think I might have scared him away with all this. It wasn't really something he signed up for. I don't know if I will ever see him again?
I was just so sad. Qais kept telling me not to tell everyone I met .. but it was so hard to keep something like this a secret. Heulyn was a very good listener about it all. So I told a lot of my friends. I am glad I did too. They thought Qais would come with me so they laid a trap, a diversion for him!
On the full moon Hartaine, Leoffrith, Adrie, Marney, and myself went to the bridge. Hart Leoffrith had thought of using a secret code for me to communicate to my friends as they watched me from far away. Hart came up with an idea that it could be with how I held a basket. Each thing I did with the basket meant something. It was rather genius and proved to be very helpful.
It was WILL and his little brother! Can you believe it? Alright… journaling has me talking to myself.
They can’t be more than twelve and fourteen! I took them bread for years and this is what they decide to do to my family in return? Kidnap my parents? I am so angry at them and I hope they rot in that cell. Will KISSED me! He made me kiss him and I really think he tasted like dirt. I am glad that Adrie Marney put an arrow in his leg. I think it was Marney? I need to ask her next time I see her. I hope Will has a limp! Qais said they could hang for this... I am so mad... but hanging... seems so final... and they are both so young.
I was so scared. This is the part that is even hard to write about… I don’t think I can really. Ma says just write what I can. The dread I had when I did not see my parents at the bridge. Having to race with Hartaine and Leoffrith to Archet to get my parents the antidote to a poison... I just can’t get those feelings out of my mind. I want to go do something reckless to forget it! Did you know it was supposed to be a way to have me run away from them? But they didn’t expect me to have so many friends hiding in the grass. Hart tried the antidote! He could have died! They could have been lying. But it did make my sick parents better.
Then Qais showed up and looked terrible. They had sent him a note and jerked him all around!
I try and remember that ride home. How Ma tried to brush off the fact that living a month in a locked room wasn’t that bad and how Pa had cried when he hugged me. I had been wearing his hat all month. It was like a lifeline to him, a good luck charm. He has it back now.
My hand is getting tired from writing. There is a lot more that happened and I think about but Ma said I didn’t have to write it all out. Just the parts that I wanted to so that it didn’t stay all trapped in my head.
Tomorrow I have to get up early to finish the buns for the mess hall. I think I need to ask Beoda to bring by more butter.
Audea gave me a pretty bracelet for a Yule gift. It is so nice. She didn’t even know that my parents got kidnaped because she had been so busy. I think she felt guilty but it wasn’t HER fault that Will is a terrible boy! I am still so angry!
I am tired too though. Goodnight journal. Is it strange to say goodnight to a journal?
