The next morning found the two well rested and in high spirits, eager to be off the road and within town gates. The traveler helped the girl up from the ground, then bent down to retrieve her belongings for her. Slipping his feet in his tattered boots, he followed Kitten back to the main road and onward to Bree again.
The weather held true; the sun’s unobstructed rays teased all the subtle colours of the landscape to view, from the variegated shades of brown beneath their feet to the greens of moss and grass to the timeworn grey stones of ruins ancient beyond memory. The traveler noted them all, but none so much as the fiery hues swinging in the mane of the girl at his side, nor the sun-kissed beige of her soft skin, lighter in shade than his own and far less worn from travel.
She was oblivious to his silent observations, as the traveler never spoke of such things. Instead she asked him questions about what sort of dangers he expected she would face on a journey to Imladris. He dispiritedly answered her as best he could, for it was not his way to confront dangers when they threatened but to weave and skirt his way around them.
She remained convinced that the journey must happen, no matter what grim warnings or misgivings he shared. Her father instructed her to, and nothing he said deterred her. So the traveler stopped in the middle of the road to try a new aim.
“What if you had a stronger reason to stay?”
Kitten paused and pondered the idea for only a moment before replying guiltily. "That would depend on the reason. My father told me to go there. He said there's something there for me."
Quietly, the man responded to her. “"What if I do not go? If I stay behind, and do not follow, would you?"
"But... what do I do if I don't?" Kitten tilted her head and knit her brows.
Reaching out to her, the man gripped her arms and pulled her into him, running his fingers along her skin tenderly. “Whatever you like.”
But his bid for her feelings fell flat and her eyes only glistened in confusion and sadness. He would not win; he could not offer her anything that could deter her from such a course. “I've said it was extremely dangerous. I am not able to keep you safe, Kitten. I do not want something to befall you, but I cannot seem to make you stay. Perhaps were I a man of means I could. But there is nothing for me to offer to entice you to stay where it is safe.”
He straightened sharply and stepped away, speaking again. “I do not wish to see you die, Kitten.”
She protested instantly. “I'm not so helpless… have you never considered how I got as far as I did on my own?”
The traveler’s voice slipped into a low, neutral tone. “Have you not considered why I wander, alone with nothing? It is because I failed to protect one, before you. I cannot bear to live with the guilt. You ask me to fail again.” And then he wordlessly turned from her, continuing in the direction of the town.
She stood where he left her, her chin quivering and the confusion on her face only deepening. Finally she answered, “I won’t go then.” And she moved quickly to catch up to him once more.
The traveler said nothing, only kept his head down as he walked, listening to the soft sniffling of the girl he just hurt.
It was well after the sunset when they crossed through the western gate of Bree, and there was yet some early evening bustle of merchants and townsfolk making their way home to hearth and family. Watchmen eyed the two suspiciously as they passed, for they were both road-weary and exhausted from their exchange earlier, the traveler stoically ignoring passersby and keeping his gaze lowered.
She wound her way through people and alleys, horses and carts, children and dogs, all with the shabby man trailing her at a matching pace. Up steps, past stalls, and finally across an arch to the door of the Archives once more. Once she stopped at its steps, he looked up to the doorway yet remained silent.
Kitten broke the dead air first. "Do you want me to go?"
Answering in barely more than a whisper, the traveler answered. “No.” The girl looked relieved and fiddled with the sleeves of her shirt. And then he continued again. “It is probably for the best though. Sleep in a real bed. In a warm building. A fireplace. Perhaps food.”
Kitten looked like a wounded animal. "And no you.”
He shook his head. "Those things are not for me. I do not deserve them."
“Neither do I. I did a terrible thing,” she replied.
He gave her an incredulous look. “You say you killed a man, once, who taunted you. You did what was necessary.”
"No. I did what I wanted to. What I couldn't help doing," she countered.
“I could not do what was necessary. And I lost the only thing that ever mattered to me.”
The traveler rubbed his grimey fingertips against his temple, then through his unkempt hair. He moved to lean against the lichened stone of the Archives’ stoop, then withdrew his smokes and flint. He lit and took a few deep draws, shifting his bodyweight fully to the cold masonry.
“What a pair we are," he finally spoke as he lifted her eyes to catch hers.
Kitten let show a small smile. "Are we? A pair?"
The man looked as though the thought just surprised him. "What do you want?"
“What do you mean?”
His voice sounded unsteady as he spoke. “You want to walk to Imladris, with no horses or armed men. I know this.” Then he gestured between them both with his empty hand. "This, I do not know. We were not supposed to do this.”
Kitten watched his gesture, then tilted her head, trying to understand what he was asking. "I don't want to be alone anymore. You make me feel not alone." She shrugged.
The traveler grew quiet for a considerable time, inwardly considering everything the girl had said and much more that she left unsaid. His mind worked through old memories, mired doubts, and his own embedded fears. Had the time come for him to set times past aside? Was his mourning now over? Could he be redeemed, and perhaps one day live in the light yet again?
The girl watched him, eyes reflecting only concern and affection for him.
A small pebble cracked from the great wall surrounding his heart. And then he nodded once.
"This does not come easy for me, Kitten." He tapped some ash from his smoke, then looked to the girl again and continued, his voice gathering certainty as he continued. "Get the best supplies you can. We will see how far that goes. I will scout before we traverse thickly forested areas." He took another long, deep draw before releasing a thick cloud of grey smoke to hang stagnantly in the windless air.
Kitten’s eyes seemed to grow three sizes and she burst into tears, flinging herself against him in a tight hug. “You mean... you'll go with me?”
The traveler dropped his smoke immediately and wrapped his arms around her. "I want you. You have decided to do this foolhardy thing."
She buried her face into his scrawny chest, her words muffled against it. "Thank you..."
He ran a hand up her back and gently cupped the back of her head. "Do not thank me until we have survived the journey." He then placed a light kiss on her forehead, continuing, “Go, rest. Tomorrow start making preparations.”
She pulled back to look him in the eyes and sniffled. "Where will you go?"
He shrugged as if it was not important. "No one cares where a destitute traveler rests."
She reached into her bag and retrieved one of the Shire apples and handed it to him. "I know you won't want to eat this. But... maybe you can trade it at Mud Gate for some pipe-weed?"
"Perhaps. Thank you. Now be off before I desire more of you than what is proper in town." A small grin appeared on his face as Kitten planted a quick kiss on him and bounded up the stairs and into the Archives.
The traveler tossed the apple up into the air and caught it again, and then melted into the evening crowds.
