As Eliad had lied down in the grass, he looked up at the sky as he thought of the recent events. Despite of the good times of the events, there were also a few things that he was either confused or troubled about.
Adun this… Angmar that… Don’t you ever talk about anything else?
He never really stopped to think that he did talk about that most of the time if not anything else that had made him worry. The main thing on his mind at the time was his determination to just end things.
You should not have told anyone where you come from… You should have tried to stay unknown as my people have to every single day.
He knew that it was stupid to entrust his secret to a fair few people. Like the one that had captured him and held him hostage for who knows how long before returning home. The last person that he had told did not break his trust yet, thank the gods. Though, that person was considered as a best friend to Aeru, which made being comfortable all the more easy.
The self-pity you have… It won’t get you anywhere. ….Look up, boy. There is a whole new world around you…just waiting for you to take it.
He did feel like he did have that self-pity. He took it upon himself that he would deal things on his own. The reason is that he wished that he was never even born there in Angmar in the first place. When it came to the world around him, despite of its own ugliness with brigands or whatever that is evil, it was beautiful to Eliad. He would want to protect that in order for that beauty to still be there.
Look around you, Eliad… We are willing to die for you. No one but me knows you here, but we would. It is your choice whether you will lead us to death or not. They will break you if you go there… You know me, you know Cassiah… Would you truly put her in danger for the sake of the hate you have for your father and sister?
Eliad turned his body to where he lied on his right side, being careful not to lie down on his left. He never really wanted to have that decision for others. He may have had a mask of determination, mentally replaying of the possible consequences but perhaps he was right. Maybe Eliad could break if he had gone there and lost against his father.
Hate, though? Hate is a rather strong word. In Eliad’s mind, he merely disagrees with what his father thinks or does, making him wanting to stop him in the first place. As for his sister, as much as he should hate her, he could not help but to feel sorry for her that she had picked the path that had brought pain and fear to others, just like their father.
Stop living in this fantasy of heroism!
Heroism? That wasn’t in Eliad’s mind at all. Were there actually tales of heroes anymore? To him, what he had meant wasn’t anything like the sort until that was said.
You need to be careful. You’re playing with all of our lives. I would gladly take your place to die, but even then, it would not stop because you’re not careful. There are people here that care for you… Do not take that for granted. You may lose more than you bargained for.
Eliad had remembered that he had almost started to cry in front of the two. Even if he had made friends here and there, he’s still not used to people actually caring for him. Not since his mother but she was gone. He was surprised that he was going to cry. To him, crying was something that had shown weakness if he was in Angmar so after his mother’s death, he had to teach himself not to cry ever again. Though, knowing that he was alone, he had let his rule slide this time as he had started to cry even more until he eventually fell asleep.
