Beaten bruised but not defeated

​Will it ever end? Gods if I keep being as stubborn as I am; I might as well get ran through. Narenel pathetic witch. Inquiring about my family as if there was something so important; ashes are ashes I don't touch them again if I can help it. Da's gone and isn't as if we were some noble family,  I don't know what led her to believe we were involved in taking her previous life away, everything she knew and loved.  But this is a right pain in the arse, I told her I wasn't going to help her figure this out.  It's not my past and it's certainly not my future.   That belongs to her; people can call me insensitive or any other blighted name I don't care.  I hope she stays away from me, I really do.  She wouldn't let me out of the room so she forced my hand and somehow she knows Aeru's true origins.  She's been marked an enemy now and cannot be trusted; Gods this pain in my side is unbearable.  I wonder how long I can keep cheating death before it comes to me, I pray, I sincerely pray that I can continue to live for the few people that were foolish enough to accept me with open arms.  They are my only purpose now, I have got to keep Aeru's name from getting out further.  But how?  I'm so lost.