Day 4, or 5, I don't remember. I burned some of my notes.
It's night. I am outside, shaking. I see Nightcrawler and...Kahina? Again. They are talking. I am listening. I barely hear anything. I come closer. I am nervous. Or scared. I am always scared. Of something that I don't know. I greet them. They greet me. I asked them what were they talking about. They were talking about Nanthon. And Ranger. Barudric. They are talking about him. Again. Nanthon and Barudric are not fine with each other. Because of me. Yes, because of me. I know that. I caused it. But I didn't mean to. It all happened accidently. I shouldn't blame myself. Or should I?
I need to talk to Nanthon. I need to. I can't find him. I am nervous. I am outside the pony, on the porch, at the back. I am waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And waiting. I punched the fence. I broke it. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to punch. Didn't mean to break. I leave the porch. My body is shaking. Shaking. It's cold. But it's warm. What's wrong?
I broke a box. A wooden box. I hope no one saw it. I got my pouch. I left. I went inside. To check for Nanthon. He is not inside. I am still waiting. He should be here. I need to talk to him.
