It was a long day, strangely filled with a dread I can't precisely put my finger on. I was feeling restless, something plagued me. The Dawn Hall was empty when I came to look for Piperel, I needed her company that day more than any I guess, and I decided to just sit for a while and enjoy the unique silence of the room. I sat there for a while staring down into my drink, not really in the right mood to take another sip. The silence, oppressive and a thick, filled my mind. Eventually that day I came to the conclusion a man should just not think too much, over-annualized, or fret and worry about shit not in his or her own influence to change. I'm tired of fighting with my own mind, tired of the constant battle with unseen ghost and fears that haunt my thoughts like specters of uncertainty.
Perhaps. Perhaps I was silly to be jealous. It's a jaded emotion, one which I have no time for. I just couldn't help be when I saw Piperel enter the Hall later while I was staring into my drink. She was carrying a fishing rod a fellow member of our company, Doergast, gave her. She left the Pony with him to go to his house, for him to give her the rod. What was I suppose to think, to feel? Her leaving the Pony, probably after a few drinks, to go to man's house just made me wonder, made me scared of that one day she'd run from me as well. I believe her that she had no in intentions with the man but still it tugged at the fear I once again experienced. I'm letting myself love this woman.
She told me they met Kat on their way, saw a few of the other members of the Dawn at his place, encountered a man that also lends his hand to the sad state of Beggars Alley. Yet, I can't help but think what if they didn't, what would have happened. In the end, I can't do anything about this, and would never stop her from leaving, would give her the freedom she desires. Any man would covet her body; that, or the poor fool is impotent. I don't think she truly realizes this.
Although, I can perhaps be the worst hypocrite. As I enjoy the company of a few ladies myself, but never have I gone to their homes, and never have I laid with any of them after I met Piperel. She's more than enough any man can handle and believe me, I have no intention to put our relationship in any kind of jeopardy. I guess, allowing myself to feel once again is just opening up old and frayed wounds. She keeps on reminding me she's not Evangelline, and I should start to bloody well accept the fact that she actually means what she says. And I am a fool if I could not see this in her beautiful green eyes. ||| We're leaving for he Shire with one of my weekly caravan trips in a few days and I'm looking forward to just get out of Bree for a while. Pip asked the captain if she can get a few days off from the kitchen. She's enjoying her work and I'm happy to see her smile, even if a bit flaked with four, which I actually find rather sexy. I want her out of the apartment there by the Scholar Stairs, there's been another lass assaulted and I'm not letting it happen to Pip. She assures me she's always looking around and keeping her eyes out for any cunt that might want to try his luck, but after the last attack and stab at my back, I can't help but be a bit weary. Perhaps I can talk to Basaran again, perhaps talk about a lone for the time being.
