There's been so much, lately. Too much, maybe. So much that I can't stop thinking about them, thinking on... on what I could be doing to help. Thinking about what I want to do. Thinking about what I've done thus far.
Thinking... THINKING... just too much thinking...
It bothers me now, y'know? I mean, before I'd be glad to have a moment to myself and think things over, but I've been doing that for far too long now. Far too much.
Violet's doing well, still the happy and healthy baby girl...
... but there's something incredibly worrying to me now... Rick doesn't seem to be himself... I've noticed he's been drinking a bit more than he used to, he seems more tired, less energetic... he doesn't seem himself unless he's talking about his yet unborn child or Violet, or even Eom... aside from that, whenever I talk to him, he switches topics like crazy... lets spaces pervade what he's saying... seems more... irritable, I guess would be a good word.
And it's incredibly worrying. I saw Rick and Ced at the Spring Festival the other day... the first place he went was the ale tent... Later on as I was going through the maze, I saw Ced in... in tears...
Rick would never leave Ced in tears. It's -not- him...
Maybe the whole business about that cowardly bastard is getting to him worse than it is me. I've been trying to move on from that, believe me. I've been trying to get my heart to stop telling me that I still love that cowardly bastard. I've been trying, and trying, and...
... oh, what's the point of even trying, anymore?... I've got my daughter to think about now... and I can't... even move on from a man who gave false promises, who lied to me... and I want to... so, so badly. I badly -need- to. How can I do it without my head telling me it's a mistake to try anymore?...
