What am I doing anymore?

I don't know what I'm doing anymore it's so hard to feel happy with myself and everything I am doing. I feel so agitated and upset with myself all the time because everything wrong in my life is my fault because I didn't do anything to stop it from happening or I let it continue right infront of my eyes I am a fool if I think I will ever be happy again after Fleur. I guess I've always expected disappointment so that's what I'm used to. I think I need to get away from everyone for a bit and clear my mind... That is a great idea. Well I'll tell Quiz to tell everyone else but I need a break.