The Great Adventures of Fritzwise MerryPie III INTRODUCTION and Commentates by the historian
This is the great adventures of Fritzwise III. The book was found long time after people had left belief in adventures, dragons and heroes behind them. Its still discussed among the wise if this decision was good or bad, and no one seem to be able to present a solution in this matter. This book was found among the leftovers of Fritzwise the Great Chicken eater XII and made historians thrilled.
Though, the book you read is really two books. After all, The Great Adventures of Fritzwise MerryPie III is a biography written by himself with the help of *many ales of different kinds and pipe weed*, and despite that Fritzwise III claims that the narrative is true, historians has doubt some certain facts in it.
One of those is for example when Fritzwise III killed 500 orcs with his bar hands while eating a pie. Some years after the finding of this book, a second book, much shorter, was found to the joy of the historians. The joy did not only include that they found a second book concerning Fritzwise III, it was also a joy to find a book about his life that was shorter then 10,ooo pages. Its well knowed that Fritzwise III loved to write a lot about himself. What make this new book interesting is that some evidence point to the fact that its written by Tolricson,, Fritzwise III close friend. And it give the great claims found it Fritzwise III biography another perspective, since it seems to be written as a comment on Fritzwise III own book.
For example writes Tolricson about Fritzwise III encounter with the 500 orcs in this way: It is indeed true that me and Fritz (thats what he calls him) found at least 500 orcs lying dead on the fields of Fornost one day when we passed the place due to traveling. It is also true that we ate a pie or two or three. Though, im not sure if Fritz could have killed all orcs while me getting the pies for him. After all, it was just a short walk to the camp and back, and the orcs, as far as I could see, was there before both him and me. Personally, I think we reached the place soon after a battle which the orcs had lost. With this is mind we now gets closer to the content of the biography. The book that Tolricson is assumed to have written is called *Tolricsons Chronicles* and in the text below it is clearly marked which book that is 'speaking'.
Chapter I A most important mission
I write this book years after all my adventures is to pass times. I enjoy my pipeweed, I enjoy my ale and my pies. There, nothing has changed since I was a young hobbit out in the world for adventures. What has changed is my age and ability to move. Though im not in a bad shape, im not in any shape for such heroically deeds I dedicated myself into in the past. Many have asked me to write down my adventures in a book, and when I started to think of it myself, I decided that it was indeed - a good idea. Since some events take time in a distant past its good to know that everything I remember is the truth. I have no bad memory. So be it, let me start the story about the most amazing hobbit ever lived in Middle Earth, me.
It was a very rainy day that day my Uncle called the heroes to gather in his house. Maybe it was the rain, or the lack of heroes, but I was the only one that did show up. People may say that I had no choice since I lived there, but I don't agree. I could be outside in the rain. I love to be outside when it rains. When I met my Uncle he watched me thoughtfully and told me: *Fritzwise, You have always been different to the other hobbits. Their only concern is for ale and pies all day long. But with you its different. I think you may be a true hero of Middle Earth*. Of course this came like a little surprise for me. I was no stranger to my incredible strange or wisdom, but I was surprised that someone else saw it. He was a noble hobbit my uncle, and he lived a long and good life until he one day got sold by a local farmer, by accident.
My Uncle and his destiny
You see, my Uncle was very much looking like a pig, and if you didn't take a really good look, it was very hard to see the difference. My Uncle lost a penny in a field where the pigs gathered for joy and dirty food. My Uncle slipped into the mud and when he was covered by mud the farmers arrived and collected all pigs. Of course he could have screamed so they took aware of him. But, sadly for my Uncle, his mouth was full off the food he had found in the mud, and hence he couldn't say anything. By the food he also got so tired so he soon felled asleep. No one has seen him again since that time. His wife never noticed that he was away. That's probably one of the reasons to why she always said she was the happiest married hobbit in Shire.
The travel begin
I accepted the important mission. I was supposed to go Bree with a note and bread to Mr Butterbur. My uncle traded with him and this time the bread wasn't as good as it often would be. So I was supposed to go back and get new bread and money back. Unfortunately, as I entered the roads the bad weather got worse. Not even the most dangerous creatures had the courage to step outside their hiding places, but I carried on. After the rain, came a storm, and after a storm came a second storm not to be confused by the first storm, or the third storm that arrived later and more after that storm. After the second storm the sun shined for a few hours before more storms arrived. It was the worst storm season ever that year.
And I never even took a break. I walked on and on. Though the wind was so strong that I didnt come very far the first five months. And when the wind suddenly vanished I felled forward and landed with my mouth right on the bread I was supposed to leave to Butterbur. Furious by my tragical accident I swallowed the bread by mistake. I tasted real good. Oh boy!
The death of a horrible sea-cow and the joy of a new hat
The bread made me thirsty so I thought to myself that I should find something to drink. With no ale from the sky I had to search for water and as the great tracker I am – self learned. I easily found my way to a river. I found the river Brandywine River and made a lovely fire. I got some fish and looked forward to a nice meal when suddenly I heard a distant *moooooohhhhhh* from somewhere around, I couldnt see where, because it was night, and hence dark, And a little cold.
Just some moments after the horrible sound I got attacked by a monster so huge I cannot find words for it. He wanted to eat me and I had to defend myself. After a fight that lasted for around three days and nights I broke his neck with a swing, and tired by the hunger I placed him on the fire and made a brown hat by his skin and feasted on his meat. My hat was a lovely work and a eagle far in the sky saw it and wanted it for himself! But as he attacked my hat I took some feathers of him, and placed them as decoration, and I like it a lot. To Archet My travel went on. With many adventures, I will tell about them another time, and I reached the tallmen's territory after a while.
I was very weak and hungry and a friendly man told me to join him for a nice pie in a Village called Archet. Of course I accepted and we walked for two days together before we reached the place. He talked about the precious pie all day long and I was so hungry. As we reached Archet problems started to arise. Some man came and burned the village down and with it my promised pie. I got very angry and defeated the scum – but It was to late for the pie. Since it was cold outside the fire of Archet gave me some warm legs before I moved towards Bree and Mr Butterbur.
After a long time I finally arrived to Bree. It was a nice town and I was eager to see it all. But since I place my mission before myself, because im humble, I walked directly to Butterbur with the note I was supposed to leave to him. He laughed at me and kicked me away, screaming *filthy hobbit!*. I also think he drooled some from the left side of his mouth. I hadn't eaten anything for ages, since my pie burned down in Archet, and I was so hungry.
People around me cried by the cruel hart he showed me, but I just walked outside smoking my pipe. It was here I met the the modest (not only to personality, also to his charisma) hobbit Tolricson. He looked confused and absent so I took him under my wings and nursed him with ales and pies. I think we found each other as friends, but I think it was hard for him to stand under my shadow all time. (end of chapter 1)
Commentates by a unknown hobbit friend
As I read the story written by Fritzwise MerryPie III I got a bit surprised due to the fact that we had experienced the same situations in such a different way. If we for example think of chapter one there is many things he claims that I cannot say anything about. His time traveling, his visit to Archet and Butterburs reaction is things he experienced himself. I though know two things that I need to tell.
First of all, when I first met Fritz he did never mention anything about the sea-cow. Actually I mentioned about the sea-cow once in a conversation with a lady, and then he suddenly remembered this great three day and night long battle with the sea-cow.
Secondly, Fritz also thought his hat was much nicer then my green hat. But when we argued about this he never told me anything about the fact that his brown hat was made out of sea-cow skin. Nor that his feathers came from a eagle. When it comes to the story of his uncle, I cannot say if its true or not.
