I remember that day. I remember it clearly.
The evening sun shone its last rays on the long blades of dried autumn grass, casting it in a golden light, creating a sea of gold surrounding me as I watched the river oxen graze, wondering if I could or should try to get one for our dinner. Even though, knowing as I did, that my father would be proud, my mother would worry that I had done
so. I could already see my little sisters eyes as she gazed up at me, always the hero that I was to her. How round her eyes would be when I sauntered home with a whole ox, for our family. I remember wondering how I would get it home. Then on a far hill, suddenly, I could hear my mother yelling in the distance..."Nevara!! NEEEVARRRAAA!!! Where is that child! I swear..", and her voice faded into quiet grumbling.
Looking back, I wonder how my poor mother ever dealt with the life of a Dunlending, so different than her own upbringing, and her own people, so far from home as she was.
And I realize now, how loving and patient she was, to put up with the headstrong, independent and wild, Dunlending child that I was.
My mother called, "NEVVVAAAARRRRAAAAA!!! Get yourself over here now..or I swear!!"
The oxen startled, snorted and moved off, at this last call and I sighed, knowing my prey had become to wary for me to hunt. My dreams of a grandiose surprise for the
family slipping from my mind, I stood, stretching my narrow shoulders, to roll the fatigue of the long hours stalking and waiting. As the last golden light of the sun faded
away, I walked slowly towards my mother.
Drawing closer to her, a mischievous part of my mind took over, and I began to stealthily sneak up on her, stalking her, trying to surprise her, ...as I drew closer still, I heard
her say...
"If you don't come out of those grasses right now Nevara Etoyoc, I swear, you will be mucking out the stalls for the next month!" Her very slightly pointed ears, twitching
to the sound of my nearly silent footfalls.
I stood upright at that with hands on hips, " Awww, Mom. I was only trying to-"
"Nevermind Nevara! You have spent the whole day wandering out here, and you know you have your moon day tomorrow, and you have to see the Derudh's. Your Grandmother has waited for this day for a long time. You don't want to disappoint her. "
Now, when it comes to my Grandmother, she was someone I loved, but also feared. My Grandmother was a member of the mysterious Derudh clan; a clan that hid themselves from most of mankind and spent their days, speaking to nature spirits.
Hiding another sigh, I responded with a contrite, "Yes Mother, I know."
Without a backward glance, my Mother began to walk down the hill to our cartref, and continued to talk, "You know what your Grandmother is hoping for..She hopes you will
become one of the Derudh. " She glanced over her shoulder, then continued, a flash of pride in her bright cornflower blue eyes, "And you, would be one of the few children
born, lately, who would even come close to their ..."
As my mother thought of the right words, foreseeing all that she hoped for me, my mind wandered off; all I could imagine was a future of rituals, and being tied down.
A life full of boredom. Hesitantly, I said, "...Mom, what if I dont want to be a Derudh...?"
My Mother stopped, in her tracks. Looking down as I was, marveling at my Mothers ability to leave almost no footprints, I almost walked into her back. I was bemusedly
wondering about this, when my Mother turned, and cupping my cheeks in her hands, lifting my face to hers, she said softly, "My dearest child, my first born, ...I love you. I love
you more than the sunrise, I love you more than my own breath. If, you do not want to be a Derudh, I understand." Her deep blue eyes searching mine, she said, "But
understand this...your Fathers' people are struggling. They suffer by all these wars with the Rohirrim. They suffer by never finding their own home. They suffer by being so
tied to the past, and their closed minds, that they do not move to the future." My mother paused, still searching my eyes with her own, then continued, " And you, my child, have a lineage..a very different lineage, than most..You, Nevara, have the ability, by your birth, to show your fathers' people a different and better path. A future, that is worthy of hope. As a Derudh, you will carry the respect, and honour, you will need, to help the Dunlendings, to brighter days."
My mothers eyes shone with hope and love..and looking back now, as I am..I see, the fear she held too. Did she somehow know what was to come?
My eyes flicked away, from the intensity of her gaze, and I murmured, "Yes Mother..I'll do as you and Father and Grandmother wish."
Truth be told, my heart sank, as I saw the long days of summer sunshine, and whispering leaves, fade away, to be replaced by responsibility. I trudged in silence, after my Mother to our home, our thoughts wandering lost, in the events, hopes and fears of the coming day. My Mother, walked with great resolve, just as I treaded with
secret sorrow, at the loss of the different future I had envisioned for my ten or thirteen year old self.
The lit candle that guides the lost soul home, flickered in the small window of our cartef, as I opened the door, my thoughts remaining mired in the future that would unfold upon the morning. I heard my fathers' cheery call, to me and my Mother, "Nos dda, fy Caru!", as the door to our home closed firmly behind us, sealing out the dark night.
*note: Welsh is used for the basis of the Dunlending language in these stories*
