I guess it's time I wrote this all down. To start with, my father is dead Hardoleth executed him the other day. I've been in too much pain to really think let alone write anything about it, but today hasn't been too bad. Before asked, no not pain from the loss of my father, pain from what he did to me.
I'll start from the beginning, sorry if this seems more like a story than one of my normal entries little friend, but I feel I must get it out, to remember.
The day he showed up several of us were at the Dawnhall just chatting and hanging out. I was at Gallrandil's side. He and I have been talking much as of late, I find myself growing close to him. But this isn't about he and I, it's about my father and his end. Whilst talking I felt him, I knew he was near by, but I wasn't ready for him to be as close as he was.
When I stepped outside, I went to the large rock out front to survey the area around the hall, that was when I was knocked from the rock to the ground below. All I could think of at that time was, it was a good thing I slipped toward the hall and not down the cliff at its side. Then it dawned on me, I didn't slip, I felt pressure before falling, that was when my father wrapped his large arms around my neck and hauled me off the ground.
My scream must have been heard within since several of, if not all of the folks within came running out. For the next long bit, my father tormented me with his words. Told me he should have sold me for a copper and not ten gold. He also remarked on something I know to be a lie. He told me that the smith touched me on those two trips, even worse he told me that I enjoyed it. No...he didn't touch me and I would NEVER enjoy such a thing!
To think that No, even he wouldn't
I can't think about that right now, perhaps Gal will sit by me as I look back within this little book.
During the time of torment my father bounced me face off the of the rock, I still wear the bruise and stitches from that. When he did not much made sense, everything around me felt fuzzy and the words Hardo spoke seemed like gibberish. It wasn't till I felt the point of a knife bite into the underside of my jaw that I again understood what was happening. I caught the slightest of movement from the captain and pulled up on my father's arm to get his dagger as far from my neck as I could. That was when I felt both of us go down, so I rolled away, knocked free.
The look in Gal's eyes when he pinned my father, my thirst for my father to feel my pain. It all came back, the way I was when I questioned people, the methods I could use to cause my father great pain, more so the thirst for it. It all came rushing back at one time and scared me when I calmed after. I only hope no one noticed my eyes turn...
Hardoleth refused to let me kill my father, told me he'd not let me become a kin killer. I had no choice but to stand down. Looking back at that, Hardo saved me a fate worse than death. I don't know if I could carry that on my shoulders along with the rest. It's done now, Hardo executed him. I watched as he took his head. I refused help till I saw it done.
