The Nuisance Hobbit
There is a hobbit that I know
I'll name no names nor ever show
that he annoys me quite a lot
Since Rua too has a soft spot
For this provoking hobbit lad
(Though no one else thinks he is bad).
The pantry's bare of things to eat
while crumbs cover his clean bedsheet.
He's tracked the butter through the hall
and sticky prints cover the wall!
(I don't know where he found the jam,
or why he had to hide the ham).
He steals my biscuits when I bake
and rattles the dishes 'til they break,
And Rua thinks that I'm the one
who ate his morning coffee bun!
(It's just not fair and most untrue
For all those things, I'd never do!)
He's even tried to pull up weeds
And thrown away my flower seeds
that I was saving for the garden.
He barely says I beg your pardon
after he burps while drinking ales,
impressing Rua with his tales
Of fighting imaginary beasts
then celebrating with mighty feasts!
My favourite rug is rags and ruin
after he claimed it was a bruin
and pounced upon the innocent rug
spilling the contents of his mug.
It's good he knows not of my journal
Oh, why must such a lad infernal
be such a nuisance in my hole
When every other hobbit soul
A gentlehobbit thinks he be
and asks him to their hole for tea!
