It's not true!!

~ This note is posted at The Prancing Pony~ I would like to dispel the confusion amongst the patrons of the Prancing Pony. I tire of awnsering these questions three to six times a day. I have been asked by no less than four elleth, eight hobbits,and my horse Hawthorn on the matter. NO, Threland is NOT queer.(He always speaks that way.) NO, Threland and I are NOT bedding one another. If we were, the man would be walking more awkwardly than he already does.( I refuse to bend over for any man. I'm an elf and I tend to prefer my own kind.) YES, Threland and I make queer jokes at each other rather often. I assure you, that is ALL they are. We have a peculiar sense of humor. NO, elves do NOT have squirrel tails they hide in their leggings. NO, Awiergan and I are NOT bedding each other. (He looks like a goat!!!! Not to mention he's married!!) NO, Threland's hat is NOT part of his skull. ( I know because one of my favorite games is stealing it from atop his head when there is nothing else to do.) NO, elves do not grow beards. EVER. NO, you may NOT play with my pole axe. NO, I will NOT sing for you. Even if I am good at it. Personal reasons. Drop it. I don't care if I'm the first elf you've ever met. I'm not singing. I hope this clears everything up. ~Lamaenon 'Lemon' of Lothlorien