Continued from A Word In Sogadan's Ear
I received a short note from my mistress Rainith summoning me to the Hall of Fire, and when I arrived, the hour was late, but it was still crowded full of folk, many from the House of Vanimar. Rainith took me aside to a private corner, and asked the meaning of my spreading gossip about her being with child, which was not true, and I was staggered by this news. She asked why I would do such a thoughtless thing, and be such a cause of trouble for her, instead of a help, and she thought she could trust me, but I had proved her wrong. I tried my best to explain, but she flew into a horrible raging fit, and gave great vent to her injured feelings, so I was uneasy all the while, and feared that she was going to kick me, or pull at my hair, or slap me, or worst of all: tell the Lord Anglachelm of my mistake. It was an honest one, and I meant no harm by it! I imagined my lordship sending me away in disgrace, and this thought threw me into a sorry, desperate condition. I made a great wail, flinging myself upon the floor at her feet, and beat my head smartly against it, saying that I did not mean to give her provocation or reason to revile me, but the little she told me made me think she was with child, and perhaps the blame should be shared; certainly, I did not dream it up alone!
Then I thought I heard Rainith growl, so I admitted that perhaps I was a little too eager to believe it, because it was such gladsome news to me, and I was so looking forward to it, but the world was false and hollow, and I should have known better, and my spirit was crushed; for now my mistress hated me, and I had no heart for anything. She said she did not hate me, and told me to rise to my feet, and stop making a fool of myself and striking my head on the tiles, but I would not, not until I had spoken my mind. I reminded Rainith that I promised all faithful service to her, and it was Lord Anglachelm’s will that I serve her, and still I promised it. I asked what I could do to make amends and have her believe and trust in me again, and allay her fury, the like of which I had not seen since that brute Estarfin collared me, and near tossed me off the mountain, and she could have him do that to me, if she liked, but I begged her first to consider things over, and not make me leave her service, and not tell Lord Anglachelm of her displeasure with my poor service either, and, in turn, I would labour harder to please her in every way. I vowed never to give her trouble of that kind any more, and asked that she not despise her poor servant, who only wanted to be made useful. By this time, I had such a ringing pain in my head that I could not think of what to say next, and lay in silence while the Hall spun around me in dizzying circles.
Rainith shouted at me to get up, which I did at once, if a bit slowly, not wishing to risk angering her further. She sighed, and said she was ill-suited for having a servant, especially one who humiliates her in public, and perhaps Lord Veryacano would have a better use for me, and maybe I would think twice before spreading gossip about him! She noticed my trepidation at her suggestion, and told me that I had nothing to fear from the Hammer Lord, but it is not Lord Veryacano who concerns me as much as the warrior Estarfin, the Hound Daegond, and the She-Snake Nirhen. All my pleas were useless: Rainith said that she would be informing Lord Anglachelm of my service, and said that I had disappointed her greatly. Then she wished to return to the gathering by the fire, and though I was not in the mood for folk, and Estarfin loomed in the thick of the crowd, I did not dare refuse. I followed her very meekly, thinking it a good time to pay visit with Sogadan and have a glass of strong wine to lighten my heavy heart.
Alas! The Vintner of Imladris tossed his head in contempt at the sound of my greeting and refused to look at me. He informed me that I am now an unfriend, because my idle talk did him a mischief, and friends do not bring evil to those whom they love. I could not believe my ears! Have I not drunk of his wine, when he would pour it out, and kept him company throughout the long, lonely hours in the Hall? He replied very coldly that my company is awful, as bad as my business, and not only because I keep it with angry, vengeful folk. Saying this, he glanced nervously over at Estarfin and Rainith, and told me what happened to cause this new estrangement. Sogadan demanded that I pay for his green velvet jumper which Rainith had spoiled, as well as the bottle of Dorwinion Red wrested from him by the violent Estarfin!
I said that one hath no rule over his own spirit, and no restraint on his anger or revenge, so any that gives the reins to him is open to Estarfin's wrath, and it was his own fault for being a blabbering whisperer. Then I tried to steer the talk elsewhere, and talk of light matters and make him merry, but Sogadan was sore vexed, sullen, and would not be consoled. I grew mightily sick of his impatience and complaining, and finally gave up. I returned to the others, and stood around half-listening to the talk, bewildered, not knowing what to do. Lady Danel was there, and I recall her saying that she is going on a journey to the Greenwood, and this was more bad news, for ill-advised it is to go by oneself into the dark and corrupt South Forest, but she said it is of the utmost importance that she go, and was mysterious about the nature of her venture, and would not be persuaded from it.
The night was turning strange on me, and methinks I had taken too many blows to the head, for Estarfin was in a fey mood, and was laughing and smiling cheerfully, which I had never seen him do, and it made me suspicious when he bought a goblet of wine for me, so I did not drink it: either he or Sogadan had spat in my glass, or mixed in poison, for aught I know. I dimly remember Belegos telling of a battle somewhere, it might have been Gondolin of the Seven Fountains, or perhaps it was someplace else; I am not certain of anything. My dark dreams were interrupted when someone said the Sun was up, and folks began departing the Hall, Rainith among them, so I left the House in sorrow, and went to my fishing place but did not fish. I sat and watched the flowing water until the shadows grew long, and then I realized it was night again.
Oh, for the happy days when I was young in the Greenwood, where friendship was felt, and every trouble diminished by it; even if my family’s hut under the trees was never as grand as the Last Homely House of Elrond, it seems a palace to me now. But those days are long gone, and my country is afar off, and the little hut has crumbled into dust. Winter is come: all the trees are stripped bare of their leaves and reveal their bark, and shudder alone and apart in the cold wind.
