A matter of thoughts



It had been months now since she had left the safety of home. The fast pace and turmoil of the landslide, the rush of the raid, the sudden flow of being slung along with the caravan into lands unknown. So much had happened, so much had changed. Good friends made, venturing out into the wilds of Bree beside them. She stroked Bilberry's mane as they rode toward the shire, thoughts racing through her mind.

Her admirer had made it clear, he wanted her time, hers alone away from her friends, she couldnt do that. Wanted to coddle her up and wrap her in his idea of protection and offering her a life of his making, love he called it, but had no goals of his own, couldnt understand her own passions and drives. She wanted a big life, to travel, to live, to ride, to feel the wind, to thrive. Hard work, live hard and free, he talked saying he wanted to give her a better life, not able to see this was a good life. He did see her, couldnt see her, how can you love someone you cant see. She liked him, she had hoped he would talk to her more, come to understand her more. She tried to learn more about him, sort to try to develop some deeper understanding, but he seemed to want to rush, push, express love deep an longing, claiming to know her, without even knowing anything about her, not seeing her. Claiming it didnt need time, it was there, but she needed time, wanted time to know him, she knew nothing about him, there was nothing about him she knew. Nothing about family, likes, dislikes, nothing at all, how can you love that which you dont know, cant see.

There it was again, that big feeling, like she was bursting out of a tight frame holding her back. Thoughts rushing over her, wild, quick, wanting to over take her. That logical, seeking mind, like a vice constantly longing for more, wanting to know, to be filled. Her mind longing to grab hold of more, seeking the details in everything as it rushed past her, eyes seeking each colour, detail, how can this not be living well, big. She breathed in deeply, sage green eyes sparkling as she caught sight of a bird she had not seen before, watching its flight off to the side, then back to the path before her. A quick look over to Cwenawynn as she pulled her horse around another obstacle on the road. 

Her friend, one of many, each so different, so much to learn from each of them, lives so entwined at the moment. Thoughts racing through her mind. How could sitting still in Bree behind a closed door be living better than this, sitting still with one person be a life well lived. No, it was time to move on. Perhaps she was just not ready for that just yet, life was for living and she was only just breaking the shell holding her back. She would leave that style of song for someone else to write for now.