Chronicles of Gwenbur: Entry 8



Gwenbur is sat in her home in Pel-e-Maenas, Falathlorn. She opens the diary, reading through her previous entry. She sighs deeply, turning the page. She commences writing.

It has almost been a month since Telfaras' passing. The weeks have seemed to drag along. Every morning, I wake up in despair; wondering how I am going to endure another day without my dear husband. Will this get any better? I am assured it will, though I cannot see it.

She sighs again, rubbing her forehead. She dips her quill and continues to write.

I was carrying my love's child, however it was not to be. I lost the baby a week ago. I blame myself. I should have took more care. Though, my grief could have been the cause. I estimate I was three months along. I am now not only grieving for my husband, but my unborn child. The pregnancy was keeping me going, giving me hope. Now Far is gone from these lands indefinitely.

Gwenbur wipes a tear from her eye.

I must say, I am overwhelmed by the support of my friends. So many of them have offered their condolences and have been there for me. In the days, I am not alone. It is the nights I find difficult to cope with. I cannot stand this loneliness. I feel empty without Far, as if part of me has died along with him.

Elamplas told me if I ever feel lonely, to look up to the night sky and spot the brightest star. He suggested the brightest star in the sky could be Far. It is a load of nonesense of course, but somehow comforting. The thought of my beloved watching over me... if only he was.

She dips her quill again.

My friend and battle brother, Zelderan, spoke with me in the Prancing Pony some few days ago. He lost his wife in the Sack of Calth, so is familiar with how I am feeling right now. His words though rather blunt were insightful. He is a couragous man to have survived such sorrow. He told me that Telfaras will always be in my heart and mind; that I have to continue on, for there is nothing that can be done about it. He is right. Somehow, I have to continue on, though I am still not clear how.

I shall just take each day as it comes. I shall see what tomorrow brings. Perhaps after time, the feelings of despair will dwindle.