It was the stench – the smell of fetid water, rotting food and flesh, of uncovered excrement and that in vast amounts that all but unnerved me. I had, to my sorrow, taken life before in need; seen blood spilt and aided swiftly the death throes of my opponents. But never had I encountered such large a stronghold of goblins – with all that entailed.
We entered the Crookdell at first touch of dawn upon the would-be fastness of Amon Thanc. Had not our Hirgonui already led the smaller force of the ‘Grey Watch’ to take that place, and silence its alarm-raisers before they saw need of alarm! The message of his success was delivered us most discreetly by Tiri that we could advance with the element of surprise as accomplice, and so Aearandir gave word, that we began our assent into the heart of the goblin’s camp.
Little fear did I have, though mayhap that due to my inexperience. I knew goblins as no worthy opponent to any of my folk – cunning and vicious though they were. I had seen the end of over thirty of them during my wanderings of past years – though that oft at the claws and maw of Gli, or the sharp beak of Cugu. A goblin-crusher was my bear friend; though to look upon her did she seem as docile as an old and tired hound. Aye, there had been goblins in the woods who had doubtless laughed at their chance to waylay a solitary female edhel – only to fine their prey came with predators!
And there was also this concerning the battle – that in the short time I had been with the Loth-i-Lonnath I had been trained well! I knew the importance of working swiftly and effectively as part of a group. I knew my place as Pethroval, and that it was not for me to do damage with spear or javelin – but with information from my ‘eyes in the sky’.
“Worry not, my sister, for our shields shall defend you should need arise”, dear Durthand had said to me during drill one eve. And were her words not truth!
So, as we advanced as a mighty wave upon the sea, crushing all before it, I kept my senses honed for any hawk or raven bearing news that I should pass swiftly to Aearandir. And I kept my eyes upon the bright helm of Durthand, following her path of destruction through the warren of filth, though did I have occasion to note the bravery of many around me. When my moment of danger came, it was the stoic and seemingly distant Aegledor whose shield came between myself and two goblins that sought to take advantage of my converse with Cugu! So did I learn that I must take even greater care, that my brothers and sisters were aided, and not put at risk by my presence.
Of the ensuing melees, of the rain of arrows from Linnethril and her scouts, the shouts and calls of our wardens as they dispatched the sly goblins even from places of hiding, of the frequent to and fro of my hawks and ravens – I will not write. Battle is battle – I love it not! But as Anor rose to mid-heavens the last resistance was finally crushed, and the message of victory born by a scout to Curugirion.
I was tired – bone weary, heart weary as the main wing of the ‘Grey Watch’ made orderly withdrawal. Then it was that Aearandir drew alongside me to tell me I had done well! Did his words not add some warmth to my spirit; that I had not failed him, nor proven his diligent instruction a waste of time! Those words were enough to sustain me for the journey home.
Later that day, after most thorough bathing and fresh clothes, I had washed away the grime – but the memory of the stench remained, that I felt sick to the stomach. What shame upon me! Many had been in battle, seen what I had seen - smelt what I had smelt! Was it I alone who suffered such weakness? For folk assembled in the main house of Thamas Lorn as evening approached, to seek merriment in each other’s company, in good food and wine and in music played - yet I was nigh bereft of joy.
I could not eat, and even the wine – usually a delight to the palate – did little to alter my mind-mood. And I lingered in the great hall – consumed by my own thoughts of what we had done, of what we had achieved – of the terrible realisation of what it must be like to live as a goblin! What a curse; what an abomination of sweet life!
Then I feared less my mood become a source of concern, so I left my friends to their celebration of work well done, in overmuch haste, and with but words again concerning the smell. My intent it was to seek refreshment for my very being the best way I knew, and that in the manner I always had since childhood.
As a low, twilight mist settled upon the Havens I took horse, even my mare Suldal, and rode out towards Duillond, taking the trail by the river. Not far had I journeyed before the soft sound of wing beat alerted me to the presence of Cugu; she desiring to keep me company in my time of conflicting thought. As I rode near to Duillond then on towards Celondim – alone, save for my animal companions- the shrouding mist grew thinner –then dispersed, that I cast eyes finally upon the beauty of Ered Luin, the land of my folk.
And the memory of the stench of goblins faded with air fresh drawn into my lungs. Was it not worth fighting for – this land, this way of life we pursued? All and any cost would I pay for love of my sisters and brothers, that they could live with brightness and beauty and merriment – and not as those we had destroyed. Though darkness grew, yet life was good – freedom was good – and most glad was I to be part of those who kept the Havens safe!
