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An Illiterate Girl's Diary



'"Guess what!"  I shouted as I ran along the dusty path leading up to the small, wooden home.  

"Why are you being so loud?"  A cranky voice stopped me dead in my tracks much as it always seems to do. 

"I found something, grandma!"  I exclaimed, discrediting her negativity.  Before she had time to speak, I shot my grubby little hands out and revealed a tiny little white pendent.  Attached to the pendant, a messy long black leather strap formed a necklace that, at the time, hung so long that it reached my belly button.  A proud grin spread across my face as I displayed the intricate knot work with rabbits and swirling patterns weaved across the small white pendant in a circle formation.  "I found this under my dad's bed.  I don't know how it got there, but isn't it pretty?" 

My grandma, who sat on the front step of her porch with her knees causing soft bumps in the skirt of her dress as they bent upward in an awkward fashion.  Her face paled, not that it was not already pale to begin with, as her hand stretched forward.  Slowly taking the necklace from the tangled mess wrapped around my fingers and slowly unraveled the old leather strap until the pendant was freely hanging in her own hands.  

"Your father still had this?"  Her brows furrowed but her bright blue eyes remained staring at the pendant. 

I nodded several times as my head tilted to the side faintly, "What is it?" 

Slowly a little smile formed across my grandmother's face.  There was only a small handful of times I remember her smiling in my entire childhood.  Once when I successfully baked a pie without mixing up sugar and salt or burning the edges from getting too distracted to pay attention to the baking pie and the time I showed her the little white necklace I found lost with the dust bunnies beneath my father's bed.  

"Isn't it pretty?"  I asked as suddenly her smile triggered a bright smile across my own little face.

Gesturing me closer, my grandmother nodded several times, "Yes, my dear Audelwyn.  Come here.  Let me put it on you." 

I stepped closer to her, bowing my head downwards to ease her ability for placing the necklace around my neck.  Once it hung down over my chest and to my belly, I brought my fingers up to play with the pendant.  "There's little rabbits on it," I said, turning the pendant around over and over as the leather strap twirled around itself. 

"Yes there are," my grandmother nodded.  "Your mother use to love rabbits when she was a little girl.  Your grandfather made that for her as a child."

Blinking several times, I looked up to my grandmother with wide eyes, "This was my mother's?" 

My grandmother hesitated, "Yes, my dear.  That was Sunngifu's necklace.  I'm surprised she left it behind." 

Quickly I lowered myself onto the step beside my grandmother as my eyes looked up at her, "She liked rabbits too?  What else did she like?"

Sadly, and much alike to any other time I asked about Sunngifu, my grandmother simply shook her head and stood up.  The softness in that moment washed away from her face as she simply says, "No more questions, Audelwyn.  You ask too many questions.  Come along, I need your help in  the house."  

Without another word, she lifted her skirt in a sweeping motion and disappeared into the door.'

Audelwyn lifted her head a bit as she hesitated, "That's really how every interaction with my grandma ended.  Sometimes she'd be a little soft and then suddenly she would tell me to be quiet." 

In front of Audelwyn, her horse, Anda, tilted her head to the side, unknowing of what Audelwyn was saying. 

Letting out a sigh, her hand lifted hold up the white pendant she still bore since she was a child.  As she did, her hand brushed against the much larger, stylized horn pendant of another necklace.  The pendant, as she remembered being told, represented Bema.  Sighing, she eyes the necklaces around her neck, "I always hid that necklace from my dad though.  I cannot imagine how angry he would have seen it on me.  He use to hate my red hair because it was the same colour as Sunngifu's."  

Now lifting her head up, she looks to Anda and smiles a little bit, "But you have hair like mine too."  

The horse lets out a neigh and stomps her hoof into the dirt.  

Looking away now, Audelwyn looks outside of the stable at a few people passing by.  Women with dresses sweeping along the dusty path and men with helms and brightly coloured hair all walked just outside of the small stables Anda and Audelwyn were sitting in.  Beside Anda stood a much larger, much more impressive stature of horse.  Unlike Anda, this horse was mountable and much less stubborn going by the name Clifwine.  And next to Clifwine stood a daintier, smaller horse (although still bigger than Anda) named Wiver.  Audelwyn smiled at the three horses. 

"I love you three you know, even if you never respond to my ramblings," she says and none of them look at her save for Anda.  

"Although I still have no clue what to do with you, Clifwine," Audelwyn now looks to the larger of the three horses.  "I don't know what Eorland would have expected me to do."  She sighs and leans back, "Want to hear another story?"  

Almost in response to the question, Anda turns away from Audelwyn as if to say no.  Pouting a bit, Audelwyn picked up a straw of hay and threw it to hit the back of the small horse, but the horse simply drops her head down to silently chew on some food.  "Of course you don't want to listen.  You never listen!"