Many Questions and Thoughts

    Can things get any more confusing for me? So much has been going on lately though it's hard to tell it's for the good or for the bad.
    It all started out when I was in the Pony and was about to get a drink. I recently opened up a service to where I would be a bodyguard if needed or contacted so I had worn something to make me look more professional than the clothes I had that made me look like a commoner and less bodyguard-material. I noticed a woman there though I didn't get her name. She didn't like waiting for her order though, that's for sure. Aallan came in not too long after that, asking me about my outfit. He is a friend so of course, I would tell him the truth of the reason behind it. To my surprise, he suggested that I should wear more of armor than what I had to show that I meant business. I was hesitant because the last time I wore the armor in public was when I had arrived back home after my stay with Morohir and his company and there were people that did not like the fact that I looked like that. I went either way to get the armor, having it in a vault in case if I had to use it. I left to go change into it before returning to the Pony, letting Aallan and Cesistya see it. Aallan approved yet I don't know about what Cesistya had to say. Probably that I looked a tad bit ridiculous. Anyways, not wanting to bother them further, I went to stand against the post.
    Margyth appeared later on. It had been a while since I last talked to her so I waved her over. She was surprised of how I looked since I was in the armor. I told her of my new job as a bodyguard.
    Gwaed eventually came into the Pony. I haven't really spoken to her in a peaceful manner until the time before that other man was troubling her. Nathaniel, I think his name was. Anyways, Margyth saw that I was looking at her before telling me that it was okay to talk with her as she would sit at the table. Though when I tried to speak, she was already going to sit down. So... I walked up to Gwaed and asked of her how she fared. Though she did get me flustered due to the predicament that I was in with females. I feel like she likes to tease me like that. She asked me about Margyth, which I was at a loss for words. I'm too much of a commoner for anyone to like me or me to like anyone. After a while, she went to get some fresh air.
    I turned to see Margyth, but only found that she had left. I went to the back and met with her. We talked for a good long while about our lives and what she had studied for and why. I offered to help her coin-wise due to her being low-paid but she refused. I was concerned for her. I wish I could have helped. I could only give her a hug. I have to admit, she is a rather nice girl. She left afterwards, leaving me to question myself. What was wrong with me?
    I went back to the main room but saw that Gwaed was back and Aallan was about to leave. I only went to the post that I stood at before. Gwaed approached me and we talked a bit until Kristophor came along. I don't know why but I feel like he was...judgemental of me ever since the "incident" (I call the fight and such an incident). I also felt rather wary of him but I didn't tell Gwaed. I gave my goodbyes to Cesistya and then to them as I made my way to visit the graveyard again.
    As I visited the graveyard, my brain had gone through various questions. What was good for me? Should I even walk forward for the future? I had often looked toward the past, still lamenting on Agreis's death. Would he have wanted me to be happy? Could I even be happy at all? Like...completely? Even so, would I be able to open up to someone the same way that I was with Agreis? Or would I fear that the same could happen to them as what happened to Agreis? I don't even know if I would get those answers easily.
    I went home afterwards, accompanied by Ghost. Even if I did have those questions or if I would let someone into my life, would they be able to accept me for who I am?