The Shades Journeys: A new day. Week 30
Today I have decided to go to Bree again.. To long I have been in my house in Arwick and thinking about what once was..
I can't live for the past anymore, memories is good indeed.. But maybe I should go out more, create more memories. There will come a time when I get old, and then I could sit down and look back at all the memories, and walk into a chamber full of them, and choose what I wanna recall.
But not now... I am still young and I want to see if there is more life can offer me.
Is odd when you have been alone for quite sometime and walk into a crowded place for the first time.. It feels like everyone are staring, and I don't know where to look..
Many calls me Lady Songweaver or the bard because of my songs I am creating.. And it seems I am not forgotten yet. It sort of makes me glad to still be assosiated with the music I am creating. It sort of make me feel loved and apreciated..........
Though even if I feel sort of glad because of this, something is burdens me deep inside, I still miss my father and my daughter. Welin that has become a young Lady, that has a life of her own and her own family. She don't seem to contact me anymore. Though I can't say I blame her. She don't know me, and my unsecurtiy how I should act regarding her, makes it twice as hard for her how she should relate to me.
And my father..I still can't get rid of the thought he might be out there somewhere searching for me.
Love is a dangerous road... It can cause the greatest pain ever.. But if you are really lucky.. you might be able to be happy, but there will always be worries and doubts. So since I sort of have manage the loss of my father and my daughter. I will not walk this dangerous road, just in case I will fail again. I could not manage another loss..
Ahh well.. But there excist ways to be happy that enriching my life anyhow...I have my music, and my own little spot at the Inn where I play..And when people approaches me an talks. I forget everything and I feel complete.
