Skip to Content

Grand Scary drinking song



The Grand Scary drinking song

Once there was a young lad up in Scary
Both handsome and sturdy and strong
The lasses them smiled at him merry
Them giggled and winked all night long
The laddie was shy as a kitten
And his knees went all wobbly and weak
He filled up his mug with the strongest
And drank it with urgent technique
But oh, it was a wicked ale
He spat it out into a pail

He’s a hobbit desperate fer brew
And ter get his fill he’ll fight both wolf and shrew
Don’t want no tea nor biscuit
And no pie that’s stuffed with brisket
He’s a hobbit desperate fer brew

So he went to the barkeep and asked him
Fer drinks that were finer of taste
No water nor milk would be useful
Ter steady his kneecaps with haste
The barkeep he poured up a brandy
The finest of Southfarthing brands
The laddie relinquished his pennies
And picked up the drink in his hands
But oh, he was a clumsy chap
He spilled the drink into his lap

He’s a hobbit desperate fer brew
And ter get his fill he’ll fight both wolf and shrew
Don’t want no tea nor biscuit
And no pie that’s stuffed with brisket
He’s a hobbit desperate fer brew

Now the lasses were swarming around him
His heart beating fast from the fear
He sure didn’t master no dances
No passionate words did appear
He jumped fer the lamp in the ceiling
And he swung from the crowd down below
He aimed fer a bottle of porter
He downed it in hurried flow
But oh, there was no porter there
Just curdled milk that made him swear

He’s a hobbit desperate fer brew
And ter get his fill he’ll fight both wolf and shrew
Don’t want no tea nor biscuit
And no pie that’s stuffed with brisket
He’s a hobbit desperate fer brew

He was coughing and cursing his fortunes
When a hand grabbed his neck from behind
He found himself heaved to the dance floor
A lassie now had him entwined
She smiled and she looked at him happy
Then she stood on her toes for a kiss
But curdly old milk when yer snogging
Removes any feeling of bliss
She cursed and yelled and ran away
She grabbed a drink and didn’t pay

She’s a hobbit desperate fer brew
And ter get her fill she’ll fight both wolf and shrew
Don’t want no tea nor biscuit
And no pie that’s stuffed with brisket
She’s a hobbit desperate fer brew
She’s a hobbit desperate fer brew

More songs in the Grand Book of Songs and Poetry