Rapscallion and a mighty good robber!
|Residence||The Crook - part of Beggars Alley!|
Background"By-jee! Why wotcha there ol' Jim-bob! M'Snide, n' don' take me for no Shireling. M' a Bree-Land boy, of twelve if you want specifics." "My ways the way of the Crook! You know? Tha' dank little passage in Beggars Alley that smells as rotten as Aunt Sally's cherry pie. Tha's where I'm from, born n' raised. My pa lost a game of dice to some rapscallions down there, n' his price ter pay was naming me Snide. After his own ways, o'course." "I'd sooner stick yer up like the bandits in Old Jim's tales than show you around Bree, but if I was feeling obliged to, I could. I know Bree-Town mighty well. My line of work has me escapin' as fast an elf's arrow, n' i'm damn quick when pinching purses too!" "If you catch me then you must have the instincts of a Rohan buck I tell ya! I ain't entirely averse ter telling some stretchers when I need 'em, tellin' me lies like midgewater spiders weave their webs. Trouble is, I often get caught up in 'em like the flies they be catchin!'" "I'm always high tailin' around, duckin' n' divin' from angry farmers wanting their veggies back. or some angry mister angry that I pinched his silvers right out from under him! Ain' no one ever said my name with joy, n' I'm as infamous as them rapscallions down in the Chetwood. Thats right! I even do ill the name of Snide...!" "If my lantern goes ou', yer be' yer buck I better hightail it on back to the crook! A dozen lashes will be awaitin' me if I'm late, n' me pap gives me a shor' flame fer i'! If the flame dies, by jeepers, I be in a whole stack o'trouble!" "So long as there's ligh' in ol' Snide's lantern, yer can jaunter over n' say howdy, if yer feelin' kind! Bu' when lanters light dies, why then jimminycrickets, ain' no buck coul' win tha' race against me!"
Me pa! Me ma! N' a few brothers n' sisters from their litters!
Pinching, adventuring, bein' a misfit beggar boy, smokin' n' bein' in no short supply o'stretchers!
Bein' denied his freedoms! Lanterns ligh' dyin'!
Ter 'ave fun with his freedoms whils' lanterns ligh' burns bright!
"My ways the way of the Crook!"
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