I want to scream. I want to claw and tear and rend and rip apart some folks. The only time I have felt more used and abused was when I was with Wulf.
My kindness and peace-keeping and sooth-saying is NOT to be taken for granted. There is a limit and I am fast approaching it.
Rabbit, he calls me. Rabbit! I'll show him a rabbit alright! If you mock and belittle the beast thinking he has no fangs, you WILL get bitten. Narys has felt my claws once in my grief. I doubt she has recovered since, as I have not seen her. I do not show my anger unless provoked.
I try my best to keep the peace and be a mediator but even I have my limits. Family is that limit. Syllea is now my daughter, and I am to be wedded to Demlemoth. I am starting to thirst for blood and my claws are restless.
Lately I have found a good friend in Valtorn. I was not expecting such. He is a sweet man with a kinder heart than me it seems. He, surprisingly pulled me aside to talk to me and check on me. I do not know anyone other than Dem who would do such. It touched me and warmed my heart. I would even be so bold as to call him a true friend.
The one other I can call a true friend is Ristiinna. She is a kind hearted woman from far to the North. She means well and has a true heart. Every so often she comes with a clever quip or retort that catches me off guard. Her dog is a sweet, kind soul as well. You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat animals. I would love to sit with her when she is not working and open up to her a bit more about who I am, other than the merry drunk patron she knows me as.
I proposed.
I proposed to Dem today. I had no ring so I fashioned one from flowers from a flower crown I wore and used that. I was terrified to do so. The last time I made it this far, with Glandaron, he turned out to be a psychotic man and attempted killer.
I am scared of the unknown, but I am not alone.
