It has been almost eight months since I left Bree. I was not able to face the mistakes I made there. After Kristophor found me near Ost Guruth, I fled. The letters, I've still never been able to mail them. He probably thinks I am dead, and Amanda probably wishes I was, since I left her behind. I wonder if I will ever lay eyes on him again. How could I just leave them behind like I did? They still needed me, and I just left. I was so ashamed of my choices that I could not face them again. Is this my punishment for it? Will they ever forgive me? Do I deserve to be forgiven? After Kris found me and we spoke I left with a caravan of people for Evendim. They said my knowledge of healing would be crucial to the people there and I wanted to help.
The journey was long and hard. We stopped at many encampments along the way to bring them supplies. I was able to help mend a few wounds and sooth a few fevers and fill the bellies of the people around our fire each night. It felt good to help people but also selfish of me, knowing I was feeling good for a moment while the people I loved still wondered if I was even alive. That is when I started to write the letters, at least one a week to each of them, but I had no way to send them off.
Once I reached Evendim life became more hectic, if that was possible. It was like the setting ground for a war zone, or as close to that as I have ever seen. Annuminas was the war zone, I have never seen anything like it. Everyday there were battles trying to keep the place from being over run. The wounds and deaths were countless, I saved as many as I could. I learned the cold truths about what it was like to watch people die over and over again, and nothing I could do to save them. People I did not know, people I had just meet and people I had been with since I left Ost Guruth. I could not save them all....
I needed to go home, and I needed to send the letters to Kristophor and Amanda, but it seemed such a selfish task to ask of someone, so I just held on to them. One day, after being there for months, a caravan of people from the Breeland area came with supplies and when they left to return to Bree, I joined them. I was so torn, the people there had become like a family to me and needed my help. I had friends that taught me to protect myself, and how to survive. They had been with me as we saved and lost lives. But I needed to go home and back to what I left behind. I needed to go back to my family. That trip back home has been the biggest challenge of my life.
(The drawing at the top of the page is done in charcoal as are the words.)
