Found:
I think I know what it is. I think I know why my moods are so erratic. I think I know what I need to do...
It was an epiphany in the night. Not a dream, but the conclusion of a series of random, disconnected thoughts as I stared up at the beams above my rented bed. I never really faced it. Oh, I faced them. I went to Rohan, I spoke to them all - those who lived anyway. I took a week-long dance through my inner-fears and most traumatic memories, but I never went back to the most recent of them.
Perhaps that will help, I thought. Perhaps going there, sitting on that ledge, will help me put it to rest.
A sound idea. Probably. Maybe. It made sense to me at the time anyway! It still makes sense now. But...
But I didn't want to go alone. Who to ask for company, then? Toddir is still to the north, I think. As are Taala and Eroforth. Or did they go east? Not sure. Neyaa has too much else on her mind; I really don't want to bother her with this. That leaves the Dastardly Duo who are nowhere to be found.
I passed by the bakery. Perhaps they'd be there? Even if not, Owena might have had some fresh goods I could purchase for the trip. At least so I thought. The bakery was closed and according to a disgruntled would-be consumer, had been for a few days. Did she leave with the Terrible Twins? If so, good for her! Good for them! Everyone needs to get out of town once in a while.
That leaves me in the horribly familiar position of having to face things alone. I could wait for them to return, of course... but what would be the point? I have no idea when they'll be back or if they'll be back. I can't be sure one or both would take this little jaunt with me anyway. Neither has any vested interest in me or my issues. This isn't their problem.
I told Bessie where I was going, although not why, just in case anyone asked. I told her I'd be back in a few days then I rode from Towerglan for the second time in less than a week. I'm camped in Far Chetwood now, more than halfway to my destination.
Won't this be fun?
