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Raven's Ramblings: Recovering Heart



My heart is mending, Mending faster than I ever anticipated.
Ithelion. My heart grows fonder for the man. We are both hurt, he and I both by disgusting, lying lovers. We comfort each other, laying beside each other in the cold nights, holding each other, whispered promises in the dark. I feel closer to him than I ever felt to Fang. Perhaps it is because we both know the same hurt... Or suffer similar pasts... We are of similar minds, me and Ithy.
Inga has grown fond of him, calling him Uncle Ithy... I do not recall Inga ever calling Fang anything.
I am taking him in as my student, and a close friend of mine. I hesitate to call him anything more. I see the same hesitation in him. We are both hurt and unsure where to tread in the world of Romance, but I will spare a warm embrace and a tender kiss for him. Always.
Today was...
Today was... interesting.
I shall not repeat what truly transpired, as keen eyes exist where they should not. However I neared the edge of death far sooner than I would have liked. Brynleigh is a clever woman... And fierce. I admire her for that. she would make an excellent mother for Inga. If I had my way, she would be, she would have her wish of children by my loins.
I seem to have come at ease with myself. I am attracted to both men adn women, yet I notice I hold too much love for one person, I find myself loving multiple people. Not unheard of, but I hold no favourites, I love each as much as the other.
My loves are strong equally for Ithelion and Brynleigh.
I used to be a mewling, meek and submissive man, at the bottom of the back. Now I feel like I've fought tooth adn claw, risen towards the top. Perhaps not the head of the pack, but I feel like I've embrace myself truly, I'm not afraid to show more power and be more commanding when needed. However, I prefer a balance of gentle and loving and firm and commanding.
Through struggle and strife, I learn a lot about myself. I am still young however, teh learning never ceases in our lives.

I am thankful I bear my training still from the less savory men of Gondor... The assassins and silver tongued liars. It serves me well, may it serve me well with many political discourses to come.  I will need to review my poison dosage, the fear for my own life today was genuine.