Another day at the Prancing Pony, this time FIontann sits with his usual jar, which is thrice the size of a regular tankard and a bottle of whisky which he pours into the jar every now and then, mixing it with the ale. As he sits he writes something in his journal, his thoughts...
Another time that I stopped seeing a woman, it seems that what I do consumes me, occupies all my time and mind. Or is it me that cannot stay with one woman? Or I just got bored of Anriett? What can it be? Maybe all together and why am I writing here? Maybe to say some things that I cannot say outloud? It could be...
So yes, today I spoke to Anriett, I told her that we cannot go on anymore, I just can't put my mind and my heart into it, not as I did, lately I was just trying to please her with little things without significance but no more. My mind is tired of it and inside I feel nothing, She had realised it, she didn't need me to tell her but it's better to talk to the other one and be honest with them than to just leave it as it is, it will get even more tiresome and maybe painful, but not for me because I stopped having feelings. Am I cruel? Maybe? I want to believe that no, because despite the lack of feelings I tried to be there, yet I couldn't. So maybe this circle has ended. Maybe another will start, maybe not, the truth is that I missed the game with women, how to talk to them and show them that you like them, how you follow them with your gaze, you can't do those when you are with someone (Is this what I can't say outloud? Mostly to her?). Then again, I may missed them but it doesn't mean that I have done it many times!
But, enough of women! What occupies my mind these past weeks is the training of the members of The Black Steel. I have had them spar with each other and some with me, some are good, some are for laughs, they must learn and now they have to learn the hard way. They act like children, not taking things seriously, so now I will take them in the fields and forests of Bree, have them travel on horses, then on foot, have t hem hunt to eat, attack a bandit encampment or two, hunt to eat again as they are tired, hide, run. Then return. See who manages to do what, see who will want to give up, see who will actually run away, see who will get hit, who will fight, who will charge by my side when I run first. So many things to see and determine who can do what. I will try to use their skills to the edge, they claim to be good at this and that. Well, time to see! See if the comforts of the down didn't get them too soft, if they were ever hard.
I am almost done with the route we will take, I just need to take one more look at it and mostly the camps that are around and make sure we attack the right ones. It may be training mostly but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't do some good with it. Some bandits threaten Staddle mostly and its farmers, others Buckland and some others the farms of Bree, so we have plenty of choices and routes to take, I think I will go with the most dangerous, after all, they're bragging... I could be as I was back as a sellsword and have them do hard things to prove themselves, they shouldn't lie... Time will tell, I want them trained and ready for something greater, able to use the skills they claim to possess. I have given Sigfread some authority, mostly over the archers during several excursions, like this one and told him to train them. He may be who he is, childish himself at times but he's a ranger and he knows more about the art of the bow, more than anyone in the company, he can train them I hope. He said his wife will help him, we'll see. I hope he can do it.
That's it for now, I have to finish my drink...
