Ode to a stolen pie

Is this a real pie? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a hunger dream, got no key for the pantry!
Open your eyes, just grab a slice and see...
I'm a poor Hobbit, I need pie regularly...
A little apple pie, cherry pie, mushroom pie, berry pie...
Any flavour really, it doesn't really matter, to me, to me.

Mama, just stole a pie, put a slice upon my plate, then I took a spoon and ate...
Mama, once I had begun, I just couldn't stop eating till it was gone.
Mama, oooh, didn't mean to eat all the pie, and now we won't have any pie tomorrow...
Unless you bake another one, for the pie is what really matters.

Too late, the pie is gone...
Spilled crumbles down my shirt, my belly's so full it hurts...
Really, it was so good, I just had to...
Gotta leave no crumb behind, it is the truth.
Mama..... ooooh.... that was a bad pie... my belly's gonna ache until tomorrow!

I see a hobbit rushing down the street with pie,
Pie runner, pie runner, will you share with me to-day?
Mushrooms are delicious, Maggot's dogs are vicious, quick!
Steal some apples! (Steal some berries) Steal some mushrooms! (Steal some cherries) Steal some pie from windowsills.
What a thrill!
I am just a poor bard, nobody bakes for me,
I'm just a poor lass, from a poor family, spare me this life without pies tonight for tea!

Berry pie, cherry pie, will you share with me?
Fetch the bounders! No, we will not share with you!
Share with me!
Fetch the bounders! No, we will not share with you!
Share with me! Will not share with you!
Share with me! Will not share with you!
Share with me! Will not share with you! Never, never, never share with youuuu, no, no, no, no, no, no no!
Oh Mr. Bounder, Mr. Bounder, Mr. Bounder, let me go!
Miss Hornblower surely set this pie aside for me, for me, for me!

So you think you can rob me and steal all my pies?
So you think you can not even leave me a slice?
Oh Lady, can't do this to me Lady,
Just gotta get the bounders, just gotta get the bounders in here.

Oh no, oh no, oh no...

Nothing really matters, anyone can see... nothing really matters... nothing really matters but PIE!
(and beer. and tea.)