Remember.
She might already be dead.
Remember.
It’s your fault.
A tree, another one, the swamp, the lights... Seven days and no findings. My hands, my bag, my phials, all empty.
The sound of Elvealin’s crystal bell pendant. Norliriel knows I do not want to go back yet, I am sure. The crystal bell, once again. Norliriel’s hand is on my hands. I feel woozy.
I have to ask. “How much more do you think we can keep looking?”
Caethel doesn’t reply right away. I continue, “Before the path closes.”
I hear Norliriel’s voice amongst all the ringing in my ears. “Just this day. Let us give it our best. Just today.”
Remember.
You have to save her.
Elvealin’s voice in my ears, “Perhaps Anvelain is in a place so secretive, that other creatures hardly tread the place?”
The lights... The only place we didn’t get close.
Only one more day, one last day, one last chance.
They keep talking. If I do not say anything, they are going to think something is wrong. Smile.
Did someone say Elenduin? It’s Norliriel. “Would it bloom at this time of year?” I know the answer, Milnir told me. What month is it now?
I turn to Caethel, everything is blurry. She asks, “Where...?” I tell her.
She looks alarmed. Norliriel says “Eleanias... you know we have only three true fighters with us.” Caethel continues, “We cannot go there.” It feels like everyone is talking at once. It takes me a few seconds before I understand what they say. The words leave my mouth almost as a whisper, “I know...”
Remember.
I go lie down before our last trip to Drownholt. I feel nothing that even resembles hope in me.
It’s your fault.
The lights... I pack. Today was the last day, my bag is still empty. Those lights. We went too close. A few seeds, a handful of dirt... That’s all I’ve found.
I turn around. Norliriel and Elvealin are there. Say something.
Aeralin’s name comes out of my mouth, I tell them I do not know what I would tell her. That was not what I intended to say. Act normal. Norliriel’s hand is on my shoulder, I place mine over hers, I look at Elvealin’s face full of determination and I nod.
Remember.
She took that shot to save you.
An idea pops into my head. Maybe I could ask Eliriael. No. I cannot risk anyone’s life. I need to find out if we are going to camp in Echad Sirion.
Caethel replies, “It... um... is best to stick to the guarded camps.”
Was Norliriel talking about a dream? Elvealin dreamt of death.
Remember.
She might already be dead.
Did we get any letters from Imladris about Aeralin? Maybe I should ask. I do not want to hear the answer no. I gulp, my voice cracks as I ask, “Aeralin...?”
Death, death everywhere... In our dreams, taking over everything. Keep talking so they don’t suspect a thing.
I hear Elvealin, “I am not comfortable sleeping here any longer.” I have to say something. Did the words come out of my mouth? Speak out loud. “This place gets under your skin...”
Eliriael comes. Maybe I should tell her. She is going to try to change my mind, I know it.
Caethel says “I... do not think we should wait much... longer”. She is so shy, even to talk. She gives me an apologetic look. It should have been me apologising to them. I dragged them here.
Norliriel’s words ring in my ears, “That flower, Elenduin... I know it would be a terrible risk.”
There is no Anvelain, maybe there has not been any for centuries. Elenduin might be my only hope. I cannot risk anyone’s life. Keep it silent, do not tell anyone. Is Eliriael looking at me...?
Everyone is packing up. I need to get my bag. It weighs a lot more when there is no cure in it.
I try to talk to Eliriael on the way back. I have made up my mind but maybe I want her to stop me. Do not tell her.
Caethel’s whistle, exactly like the call of the birds of Mirkwood, letting our allies know where we are as we walk...
Tancamir catches up with us half way to Echad Sirion. Please Tancamir, do not ask that question. Too late. “Did you find anything else of value, Eleanias?” Try to make eye contact with him. It is not working.
Remember.
You are to blame.
I cannot go back empty-handed. I cannot. I cannot face Aeralin when I go back. If she runs away one more time...
Remember.
Make up your mind.
Risking my life or Aeralin’s? I have to decide.
Without Elenduin, she is going to die. There is nothing else I can do. It looks like I have a choice, but I actually do not.
I look at my shoes. The soles have broken down. Was Norliriel right? Should I have brought another pair of shoes instead of my harp? That harp saved Aeralin’s life.
The fire keeps dancing before my eyes. I soften the wax. I start patching my shoes.
Norliriel comes. Do not say anything, watch out for an opportunity. She is asking my permission to share some of the things she found. I wish I could be more like her. Generous and kind.
As Norliriel gets up, I can hear Eliriael and Elvealin preparing to wash their clothes. My eyes on the Arrows.
Remember.
You have to save her.
Eliriael’s voice in my ears, “Do not lose hope, Eleanias. Something will be found for Aeralin.” For how long has she been standing there? Do not say anything, do not... “I will make sure we find something.” Why did I just say that...?
I have been there twice before. I came back just fine. Caethel said ‘tis more dangerous nowadays.
Arrows are on the move. They are leaving the camp. I look around. I am alone.
Run! Run now! This is your only chance. No one would see you. RUN!
I keep running and running, trees, more trees, boars... A warg, it didn’t see you, turn right. The bridge.
Elenduin, right behind those trees. Where the soil meets the Anduin.
Something jumps on me, I am on the ground. An orc is on top of me, slobbering.
Remember.
You have to survive to save her.
I try to push the orc away. It slashes my stomach with its filthy sword. The pain... Blood everywhere.
Survive.
He is about to jump on me again. I draw my sword. He falls on it. I wait for a while, without moving. I have to make sure it is dead.
I push the body away and try to raise up. Pain... Not only my stomach but also my shoulder. A second orc with a nasty grin on his face, looking at me. I turn my head. An arrow, stuck in my shoulder.
It is over.
The last thing I see before I black out is Caethel, drawing her bow...
