It's been too much this week I just can't take it. Uncle Basaran said I could go on the contract that Taala had got, but then she said no. And I finally worked up enough confidence to spar with Kat and she just beat me so easily. She's so big and I'm so small. It's so hard to fight against someone twice your own height and bodyweight, she's surprisingly quick with her armour and axe.
I'm just no use to them, all of them are so brave and skillful. I wish I was like them. Kat wanted to prove a point at the end of our spar so she hugged me tightly, she said to admit I was good or to wriggle from her grip. I got angry at her for not letting me go so I stole her coin pouch which holds quite a bit of silver and I tried to bite her. It was a spur of the moment thing I'm going to give the coin back to her in the morning.
I hope she doesn't tell Uncle Basaran I'm going to be in a lot of trouble if she does... And if pa-pa finds out he might think I've been stealing more than that. He's already upset with me Jemmima too if they thought I was a thief they'd hate me.
What would Skelly think of me? I'm not going home tonight, I'm going to find somewhere else to stay I just need to calm.
I wish ma-ma was here.
