When i was young and Nargothrond had many visitors from Balar, someone from falathrim once said to me something what still wonders me even now after thousands years.
" The beautiful thing about treasure is that it exist. It exist to be found. How beautiful it is to find treasure. Where is the treasure that when found, leaves eternally happy? I think we all know it exist. Some say it is inside us. Inside us one and all. That would be strange it would be so near. And why is it so hard to find and so difficult to attain? "
With those ancient words i'm gonna open the door to my thoughts. I never wrote any diary and i always thought it could be like a kind of burden for my soul, to think and remember some things which you would like to forget and not mention anymore. But i can feel that my time soon will come to the end and there will be nothing in Middle earth what will keep me still here. But for now ... there is someone, there is a good friend, a best one and also ... a love. My dear Amorith, for her and her burden i will stay and will leave only when she will decide do the same.
My whole life was filled with adventures and great battles which only few still can remember. My mentor, my teacher as i always thought about him ... was always for me Findaráto, called in sindarin Finrod, by dwarves Felagund and by Men ... Nom, which mean "Wise". From him i was trying to learn way of the life and always listened carefuly his words when he spoke. But Finrod is no more ... and with a bag of my experience i must live and make decisions.
In Age when Rings of Power were made, i served last Noldorin king ... Gil-Galad. It is he who made me love sea and stars. And at the end of that age Great King died. I do not know if after his death which i saw on my own eyes i lost my strenght and will to contnue hopeless fight or if it was something else. But i was ready for dread and fear which rised more arround us, these few from Gil-Galad marchwardens, we were preparing for death. And then a light arrived and saved these few from us.
I can write more and more but i do not want turn my diary into story. Many things came into my life and also many left. It is like a curse on me, that these for who i have a love and respect, they dies, isn't ?
Im looking at that page and those words and it is only small part of my life, a very little one. Tomorrow i shall arrive to Imladris. I have a hope to find Amorith, and just hold her in my arms without any words...
