I barely can see outside my windows today. The frost has made a dim layer on the glass. I have lit the fireplace and found some tea. My cat sleeps peacefully next to me and purring. It is like a sound of pure relaxation, it makes me calm and warm inside.
I have decided to write a little again. Just a little..I haven't really touched my songbook as long as I remember. "The Shades songbook".. Ah.. how many memories. For so many years we have traveled around and had so much fun. There have been many good memories during those times it has solely been a nice experience.
Recent days I have had melodies appearing from nowhere on the most unlikely situations. I do not know why. But is like my muse has finally come back. It is like a magical creature singing to me... how odd..
Perhaps the reason is that I feel so melancholic again. It has been one year since I lost my mother Rose and I cannot really get used to the fact she is gone, but I know she is at peace and that is a comforting thought. My daughter Welin is now twenty-one years old. I slowly realize how time time fly by and that I am no longer a youth. There is so many more things I should have done.. or should I? I am content. So why should I chase for something that may not be for the better? I think I am in a period in life that family and friends mean more than anything else. This are rare gems and should not be taken lightly..Perhaps this is reasons for renewed inspiration and reasons to create music again?
When I read the diary I have written in my songbook, I read about people I haven't seen for a long time. Some people come and some people go. Some people I will dearly miss and always will miss. They have all made this trace in my heart. Each time I read about them it feels like I parted with them yesterday even if it's many many years since it happened.
I believe some people come into your life for a reason. I do not believe in chance meeting based on coincidence. There is a reason for everything. Some people come and teach us different things about life, and if they leave. We keep what they taught us, and we are changed because of them. usually it's for the better.. and that is a rare gift,
Perhaps those that I have parted with will come back the next lifetime if not this? There is a reason why they left and I think is fate sometimes. It makes me a little bit thoughtful.
When I look at all those people joining me on this journey where The Shades has been traveling I smile. I have loved everyone and still do. I hope they are happy and will have a peaceful time in Yule-tide. I hope they will find happiness and what they look for.
Right know I want to pour my love into music again. This is the only legacy I have next to Welin. The only thing I think I will be truly remembered for and that will be alive in all eternity. So yes. perhaps I should stop think so much and be a little bit more useful. . *Achazia plays and sing*
