The Hat of Power
(as read by me at Green Dragon Friday roleplaying event on 23/1/26)
A long, long time ago hobbits still held allegiance to the kings in Fornost. One such hobbit, whose name I never knew, was a hunter, skilled with a bow. When the terrible Witch King of Angmar brought his armies against Arnor this hobbit and his friends answered the call. They fought long and bravely and many never returned. Yet this one hobbit did survive and one of the elves from Lindon, who had also come to the aid of the kingdom, was so impressed by his prowess that he gave him a great gift to take back with him to the Shire. “But for your size, you would rank alongside the mightiest warriors of all the ages,” said the elf. “Please accept my gift whose magic will grant you the strength you lack.”
Now I expect you have heard of Aeglos, the spear of the Elven King, of the elven swords Anduril, Glamdring and Sting and of the barrow blades forged by the Men of Westernesse and imbued with magic to be the bane of Mordor. (No? Well look ‘em up! I did!) You probably haven’t heard of the Hat of Power, however – that’s because it’s rather less famous and because our hobbit lost it in a snowstorm in a wood just as he got back to the Shire and it stayed lost for hundreds of years! Be that as it may, it was magic, sure enough, and any who wore it grew in size and was granted great physical strength.
Now then, many, many years later there lived here in The Shire, in a small cottage beside a wood, a family of hobbits, three brothers and their younger sister. Two of the brothers, Bungo and Balbo, were honest, hard-working hobbit lads and their sister Clementine was a quiet and thoughtful girl but the third brother, Bendigo, was rather lazy and thought that he was superior to the rest of his family. (I expect you are thinking he was probably spoiled by his ma – why do mothers so often get the blame for their sons’ behaviour?).
One day Bendigo had been lazing around the house all day while his brothers had been working in the fields and Clementine had been cooking and cleaning. When his brothers got home they were tired and angry to see him lying there doing nothing and they pulled him to his feet and sent him off into the woods to fetch firewood. Moaning and grumbling he did as he was told and a little way into the woods he came to a tree that seemed to be dead. Thinking it would be easy to chop he raised his axe and with one blow the trunk snapped and branches fell, for the tree was hollow. As he stooped to gather the fallen branches he saw lying there among them a bright green cap with embroidered runes and sigils in gold thread. Of course, he picked it up to try it on and not only did it fit perfectly but the moment he placed it on his head he felt strength surge through his body and he seemed to grow in size until he must have been the size of old Bandobras himself. He was alarmed at first, but he felt good and with a laugh he picked up the felled trunk as easily as if it were a dried stick.
From that day on he made his siblings’ lives a misery. He said that finding the cap proved that he had been chosen for great things and they must serve him and do his bidding. If they complained he would beat them and he watched them all the time. He never removed the cap, even when he slept, and at night he would lock them in their rooms so they couldn’t run away.
One day he told them that it would soon be time for him to go to Michel Delving where he would find himself a wife and live as a lord among all hobbits for he believed that while wearing the cap he could have anything he desired. The three siblings got together and determined that they must make one last attempt to stop him.
Fist of all Bungo took up his club and summoned all of his strength and ran at Bendigo while his back was turned. The club struck him across the shoulders but snapped in two and Bendigo turned and laughed before lifting his brother from the ground and hanging him by the collar from the branch of a nearby tree where he struggled helplessly.
Next, Balbo rushed forward and began to beat his brother with his bare fists but Bendigo just laughed at him and with one blow struck him to the ground where he lay winded and concussed.
At this, little Clementine stepped forward and said to her brother, “Well, I suppose you’ll be off to Michel Delving to find a bride. But I wonder, you may be strong but do you know how to behave with the fine folk you’ll meet there? Why I bet you don’t even know how to greet a lady.”
At this, Bendigo looked perplexed.
“What do you mean,” he said. “Well, how do you greet a lady? You’d better teach me, or else!”
“Of course I will.” replied Clementine gently. “Now, do as I do.”
With that she made a great flourish and bowed low to the ground, saying.
“My lady, I profess I am your most ardent admirer.”
“Aha,” said Bendigo and he copied her words and actions precisely but as he bowed low the cap slipped from his head and Clementine snatched it up and ran off into the woods. She threw it as hard as she could towards a stand of thorn bushes but as it flew through the air a crow caught it in its beak and flew off, dropping it somewhere over The Shire when it realised it wasn’t good to eat.
