Imagine the sun suddenly going out, just like that. There was no warning, no earthquake or other natural disaster, just the end of light. At first we could see the stars, then a Darkness came up to us. This Darkness was a thing in itself. It was thick and cloying. It blocked light and sound, and even breath.
I heard a whisper in the Darkness, "You dared to refuse me!" It was Melkor's voice. Then I was unable to comprehend more because from the Darkness a cold pierced me straight to my soul. In the moment I could not understand or remember anything but the cold and the Darkness.
After an unknown amount of time, a gentle voice called my name, "Lirullin! Come back to the Light! Hear my voice, Lirullin!" With great difficulty I followed that voice and found myself again. When I had awareness again, I realized that the voice belonged to Lady Vána. She and Galadriel were holding me while I tried to remember how to breathe.
"What…happened?" I stammered since both thinking and speaking came only with great effort.
"The Light of the Trees has gone out." Galadriel explained as she tried to help me stand. "Then there was a Darkness that tried to cling to everything; it seemed to pool more around you and Fëanor. He drove it away, but you had collapsed and were very cold. I called for help and Lady Vána came. How are you doing now?"
"A little better, I think." I still shook. "It's so cold and dark. What do we do now?" I murmured with a note of despair in my voice.
Vána took my hand. "Lirullin, look up." She gestured toward the stars. "The stars are still there. There is still light, not all is darkness." She squeezed my hand. "I must discuss with the other Valar, but remember there is still light within you as well."
I was still unsteady as we made our way down Tanequetil, so Galadriel helped support me. I gradually recovered from my bout with Darkness and was walking on my own by the time we reached the city of Valmar. When I saw golden Laurelin I fell down at her base and wept. Her Light was no more. Her trunk was blackened and her branches withered, crumbling into dust.
Telperion was in the same state of devastation. Vána wept with me as we mourned the loss of the Trees. They were dead. This was my first true understanding of what death was, although it would be far from my last. I would never again sing beneath their branches. Their steady, constant presence that I could always count on was no more.
I was filled with such despair and grief that the following events passed in a bit of a haze. I barely understood that King Finwë was dead and Fëanor was now king, although I would never call him such. Melkor had killed Finwë and stolen the Silmarils after he destroyed the Trees. The days were a blur until I heard Fëanor's speech and dreadful oath. Fëanor and his sons swore to do whatever it took to recover the Silmarils. There was such anger and hatred in his voice that it filled me with a new sense of horror. Not horror of what could be done to us, but horror of what we might do. If I had been braver I might have opposed his words against the Valar and reminded the people of what the Valar have done for us, but I didn't. I merely listened with tears streaming down my face. Many of the Noldor Elves were inspired for various reasons to leave Valinor, including Prince Finrod. For my part I was intrigued by the talk of new lands to see. I was also enticed by the news of other groups of Elves and the Aftercomers. I wondered what they would be like and what stories they would have, how we might learn from each other. Also, I needed to find a purpose again in a world without the Trees.
