The Hobbitry-in-Arms
(Written for and first read on the occasion of the Hobbitry-in-Arms kinship's second anniversary celebration, June 2023)
In the year when the goblins came down from Mount Gram
And Northfarthing faced peril most dire,
Then the Thain sent out riders to south, east and west,
A full Muster of the Shire!
Many are the tales of that brave hobbit band,
Who defended our homes and our farms,
Then we all slept secure, knowing who kept us safe,
The brave Hobbitry-in-Arms!
Some thought that name might be forgot,
Years passed, and no threat came,
Until a bold and fearless crew,
Stepped up and took that name.
For even in such peaceful times
There’ll always be some trouble,
And when there is, the Hobbitry
Will be there, on the double!
Should rowdy revellers pack the inn,
They’ll quickly be along,
Be sure that in no time at all,
They’ll join that boisterous throng!
When chickens from your coop escape,
You’ll find them more than able.
To catch them, although you may find,
They’ve kept one for their table.
When gossips spicy stories spread,
Of who did what to who,
They’ll gladly a new rumour start,
And swear that it is true!
If your guests should let you down,
And not turn up for tea,
Then to your rescue quick will come,
The hungry Hobbitry!
Called to deal with dangerous beasts,
That quest they’d not refuse,
Clad in full armour, never flinch,
In battle with the shrews.
Yet as I list their exploits here,
Know that I speak in jest,
For summoned to the Shire’s defence
They’d surely pass that test.
To those heroes who lived all those long years ago
And fearlessly fought off the foe,
‘Tis our duty to joy in the peace that they brought,
To remember the debt that we owe.
Let the Bullroarers play, may their music resound,
In a heartfelt salute to their kin,
Let us eat, let us drink, come let’s dance all night long,
Let the merriment begin.
