It seems the sun is coming out again. And I don't just mean the actual sun in the sky, though it is finally showing its face again, after a long and dreary week of cold, grey gloom. Do you ever notice that the world sometimes seems to have its own happiness and celebrations? Spring is not far off now! Oh, I know, we could get frost and even snow for another two months, but that won't stop the bright, lovely season from rolling around when it's good and ready! It won't be long before the first little crocuses start showing their white and purple heads, and then the golden yellow daffodils. I'm already hearing more birds in the garden. Now then, stop getting ahead of yourself, Taite! We still have a bit of winter to endure. But I don't mind!
Anyway, I feel like the sun is coming back inside my heart and in the people around me, too. A silly, sentimental thing to write, I know. Oh, all the world's not perfect and empty of troubles. It never will be! But I mean those what matter most to me. Master Tumunir especially. I were so close to losing him. So close! It makes me shiver to think of. But he stayed and he faced what he'd done wrong and I'm so bloody proud of him for that. I know it weren't easy, it were probably the hardest thing he's ever done. And he’s sad now. He used to be angry all the time, and now he’s sad. I think maybe it’s just what has to happen, for things to move forward, but it hurts my heart to see him in such a way. He let him me hug him yesterday. We were sitting and talking about things and...it were so sweet. It’s puzzling how it feels so natural to care about him. A dwarf. A dwarf!! I never even knew a dwarf properly until he came along! Sometimes I ask myself if I love him because my own Pa is gone. But I don’t think that’s it. I don’t know, maybe it’s part of it. He doesn’t remind me of Pa at all! Pa were gentle and warm and never raised his voice. Master Tumunir is grumpy and hard and always frowning. I guess I could pick my brain about this all day long and never come to an answer. I just think Master Tumunir were meant to be in my life and I were meant to love him and that’s about the size of it. He said he’s happy he stayed and there’s nothing I could hear in all the world that would make me happier!
I haven’t heard anymore about this other dwarf what has it out for Master Tumunir, that everyone’s worried about. I don’t suppose he’ll just go away and disappear and leave well enough alone. So we’re all a bit on edge, even though things are moving along a better path. I’ll try not to worry until there’s something to worry about. And I’m still keeping a rolling pin beside my bed! Try to come through my door, will you! You touch a hair on his head and I’ll beat you into the dirt!
Oi, enough with the nonsense talk.
Now there’s something to write about that is so beautiful I’m not sure my heart can manage it. I guess I should just spit it out. I’ve been able to cross something off my List! Aye, it’s true, can you believe it? Funny enough, it were the first thing on there. “Learn to dance proper”. Now, am I a mistress of dance all of a sudden, you ask? Nay! Hardly! But I can now say that I’ve danced not one, but two proper dances. One’s a Gondorian dance, and one’s a dwarf dance!
How did this come about? Well, I wrote before that I’d shared my List with Mister Tairy. Oh, and he so gently and kindly asked if I would be all right just calling him “Tairy”. It were a childhood name of his, he says. And a lot easier to manage than “Tarvarthal” which I know I probably don’t say right as it is! But, back on track. I forget now, what we were talking about what made me decide to tell him about the List. He has a way about him, so gentle and quiet and strong. Oh, aye, he reminds me some of...of...no, I will not write his name. He is gone and gone forever, far as I’m concerned.
The funny thing is, I added one thing to my List after knowing Mis Tairy. And it were the thing about seeing the sea. The dancing thing were put down after talking with Mister Dimheim about the balls of Gondor, and after the Harvest Ball what Miss Plumwood held last autumn, though nobody danced as I’d hoped they would. But Tairy and I were (gods, it looks so informal and strange to write his name like that!) just sitting and talking, and I were mending a tear in his shirt (oh, bless me, he were stood with his back against the house in the frost and the cloth stuck to it...I’m laughing all over again!). And he just held out his hand to me and said he wanted to teach me a dance of his homeland. I were terrified and sure I were going to trip and mess it all up and look like a fool. But I couldn’t refuse! He is so terrible kind and easy to trust, and I knew he wouldn’t laugh or get angry or make me feel embarrassed. And it were a chance to do something my heart has longed to do! Sometimes, a body just needs to be bold and step out and ignore the fear in your heart. I thought about the time before when Mister
And I did make mistakes. Quite a few of them! And I know I weren’t graceful. I can’t glide and float like a lady with two proper legs what work like they should. But he didn’t mind. He smiled and were so patient, correcting the things I did wrong, going slow and careful so I didn’t trip or fall behind. He called out all the different steps in a tongue I don’t know. I forgot to ask him what it was, I were so busy trying to learn and watch his hands and feet. Up and down the floor we went, once, twice, thrice!
We were about to start again when the door opened and who should be standing there? Master Tumunir! The look on his face were priceless. I thought we’d all scatter and that were the end of it, but Mis Tairy invited Master Tumunir right on in, and asked if he knew any dwarf dances! Master Tumunir said “Of course, I were young once”, ha ha! I thought about just dropping it and going to sit down, but the air just seemed too full of joy and boldness, so I asked if he would show me a dwarf dance. Just one step, nothing fancy! He hemmed and hawed and I really didn’t think he would be willing at all, but he walked over and did he ever surprise me! He hummed a little tune to himself and hop-skipped side to side in the most jolly way that I fell to laughing on the spot. Mis Tairy started humming along and slapping his thigh and gods above, Master Tumunir offered me his hand and can you believe it? He danced with me! That crusty old boar of a dwarf what used to glare and bark at everyone, dancing! And smiling and laughing to boot. I can’t think of when I’ve ever felt so blessedly happy and full of love and warmth as I did then, with those two souls. Ah, maybe when I were in the Shire with Miss Gustine and… damn it all, Taite, stop wandering in your head!
I didn’t feel a bit of pain, though I were completely out of breath after dancing with Master Tumunir. I feel it today, though! Oh, my poor knee. It were worth it. It were worth it ten times over.
