Found:
Having rested enough to rid myself of that abominable illness, and horrendously bored due to it, I took myself off to Bree today for some distraction. Anything has to be better than sitting within these walls watching the candles burn down and hoping...
There, I happened across a girl named Veritie. Or rather, she happened across me! A nice lass with a quick tongue and aspirations of becoming a fortune teller! Skeptical though I have always been of such things, I found myself humouring her and, for the low price of two silvers, she studied my hands and told me what she saw.
It was, of course, amusingly vague! Aren't they all? Yet, it was not entirely inaccurate either, which came as a pleasant surprise. She believes that the lines of my palms indicate a short life - or perhaps giving up something that was a deep part of me - and that I've a real love who will stand by me even through the hard times.
I suppose I should take some comfort in this notion, despite my utter lack of belief in such things. It would be nice to think that this indicates his survival and eventual return, and yet...
And yet the days grow gradually longer, and the shadows grow slowly deeper. My nights remain in turmoil, my heart heavy with apprehension, my waking hours spent seeking a way to put it all out of my mind lest the stress cause cracks anew...
No. It won't. It can't. I will not allow it. I am stronger than I was. I am whole and I will stay that way!
And so it continues, outside stimuli used to bury inner strife.
Dernwynn is to marry within the coming days. She's threatened to demand that I attend wearing pigtails and ribbons. I have threatened to attend naked should she utter such a directive!
Meanwhile, Balnirar and his friend Hosgrim certainly brightened the day! The former always does. The latter is new to me, but quite pleasant! They've even agreed to cease calling me "Miss Silver," in favour of the "Mistress" honorific instead! Although it did cause some confusion amongst them when its many different meanings were explained.
The nightmares grow worse. More intense. It's not just the past anymore.
Veritie spoke of a future life-altering adventure, and a choice to be made in which I must trust my own thoughts over any outside influence. An interesting notion, of course. I do like the idea of further adventure whilst I still have the chance, but can I really go off and find some right now? Even were my leg not a factor, I still await news...
I hate waiting.
