Patience, I lost mine last night.
Most the time I am the most patience person. There is no need to rush things. I grew up on a farm, things take time to grow. They have to be nurtured and well cared for, loved and given time to grow. But sometimes, something happens, an infestation of a crop or a sickness in the heard and you must act quickly, find the cause, and stop it. Again if you do not take your time and make sure to use your patience, you may make the wrong diagnosis. Healing is the same and when you let your emotions cloud your mind and you push your patience to the side you rush into doing the wrong thing.
Later there is always time to reflect on the choices you made and it is easy to see where your mistakes are. Last night, had I taken that time and patience then, I would not now be reflecting back on how it could have gone better. How I always make the wrong choice when I do not take the time to think about my actions. I thought I was showing my resolve, showing I would not give up on someone. Instead I pushed and pushed and each one made the wall stronger. Each push filled in the cracks I had made, I hope I can still see some light in those cracks, I hope he can still see my light through them.......I hope he still wants to see it.
(At the top of the page she drew the two swans but this time there are no flowers drawn all over the edge of the paper just a single vine with thorns and one rose at the bottom and another far way at the top, both colored in black.)
