Today is the day.
I waved goodbye to my dear daughter Welin. It was time to finally travel to Rivendell and search the archives. Ser Matheric kindly offered himself to escort me through the dry terrains of Lone-lands and all the way through Trollshaws to Rivendell. I told him that I probably could do the journey myself, but he was quite determined to help me and show me the archives, and point out the information that he found.
I was glad I had company. I know how easy it is to fall into heavy thoughts when you travel in solitude through desert lands.
After I had gathered all the supplies I needed, we started the journey. The first part went well, we had no major problems. But when the dusk shadowed the day, we decided to camp at Amon Sûl. The old watchtower of Weathertop Hill. I never had been there before. So it was with great excitement we rode up the windy roads up to the watchtower. When we reached the top, an amazing view met us.... The sky was colored red, the dry terrain almost seemed yellow, the warm colors were in great contrast to the cold, grey tower that dramatically tried to reach the sky. It did not cover from the wind either, the wind were blowing through the cracks and holes in in the grey pillars and the walls, and it created a whistle sound.. .and then....out of sudden.. a little melody came to me. Very simple and repeatable. I could not get it out of my head and swiftly I wrote the scores quickly down. I named the song Amon Sul...
((http://www.youtube.com/user/achazia74?feature=mhum#p/u/12/gmv1l1SwsBU))
We made a little fire-camp and decided to rest and talk a bit. I told Matheric about my father. I guess through the story I finally were able to explain to him my distance, shyness and my fear to get to close to someone.
Matheric also told me something about his past too that explained to me why he always shows so much kindness and helpfulness. He told me his only motivation to live is to help other people. I could not help wonder why he wanted to do so.
He told me he wanted to prove his own value for himself, and then he creates vows. Whether is vows he makes regarding the war, or vows helping others.
Is a noble act indeed, but this vows scare me... Not because they are not good deeds. But I am afraid Matheric will forget himself, and always go through a lot of risks fulfilling this vows. I am not sure he will think of his own safety, his will to complete his promises are much stronger than his own life.
But like me the past has marked him, and is difficult to change who he is. I will not judge him, nor will I stop him. This is something he does to sort of feel complete.
I could not sleep that night. I was not thinking of the lands we were in, nor my song, nor Linrond, even not the archives. I thought of the sad past of Ser Matheric, and his totally lack of selfishness. Is dangerous somehow to let that go completely, especially in this state of the world we are in. Is easy to be used by people with wrong intentions and I would not see my friend Matheric in pain and despair. He is quite alike me, but yet so different..
