Found:
What does one do when ones friend speaks of being troubled by the proposed actions of her lover? What does one do when blood is to be spilled?
Suggest another way.
But why? It is none of my business and goodness knows that my hands are no longer clean!
But that, in and of itself, has been a source of great turmoil within me, has it not? I have struggled ceaselessly with my actions and I know that no matter how good the reason, how righteous the judgment, I cannot help but feel guilt. The child I saved now leads a good life, surrounded by love and warmth and that makes my action, however questionable, the right one. But I can't shake that small voice at the back of my mind that whispers in the dark; "What if I misread the situation? What if I took a father from his child? A loving husband from his wife? What if my actions destroyed not one life that day, but several more innocent ones? Was I really right to do as I did? Was that ever my call to make?"
I wonder how she would fare with those same questions. How would she handle the shame? For, even though her hands would not themselves be bloodied, they might as well be. In knowing what is planned, in doing nothing to prevent it, would she not be just as culpable as the one who drove home the blade?
I have never been prone to violence. I have defended myself as and when necessary, and others too, but I have never sought the fight nor taken pleasure in pain inflicted. I dislike the feel of blood upon my hands, how slick and sticky and warm it is. Although the beating of my brother, and the breaking of one sister's nose, brought me a measure of satisfaction, it was not truly malice on my part but the sense of a debt owed and paid.
I took no pleasure in the death of Thaelan even though, of all men, I had the most cause to wish it upon him.
Can you imagine how it must feel to be owned like that? She had asked. To feel that your body and liberty is not your own?
Yes, I said, for I had felt exactly so in my youth, that helplessness and hopelessness revisited upon me with the coming of my siblings to Bree-land. I remember exactly how that feels and I have great empathy for the woman she seeks to save, but there are better ways. Ways that do not ensure the destruction of the woman and my friend into the bargain.
I had the chance to do something similar to what her lover now proposes. Back then, I had opportunities heaped before me. I could have saved myself much sooner had I only taken a blade, creeping from bed to bed in the night, quietly parting the throats of my tormentors. I could have saved myself much sooner had I only slipped out of a window in the hours before dawn, burning the house to the ground in my wake. I could have saved myself much sooner, but I didn't. I never gave any serious consideration to such a move. My fantasies were of being taken away from there by Antoth, being saved by a heroic stranger, or running away. It was the latter course that I chose and although it came with its own list of difficulties and consequences, I don't regret my decision.
As terrible as I am told the man in question is, I am not convinced that murder is the way to solve it. At least, not one involving my troubled friend. Her care is for the other woman, his victim, a person who, with the right planning, can be safely removed from the situation she has found herself in. She can remain guilt-free without death caused in her name and my friend can remain as light and innocent as ever she has been without even indirect involvement in the taking of a life. If he is as bad as she said, then the man will meet his end soon enough anyway. There is no need for it to come at the cost of her untainted spirit.
So, I offer ideas for alternate paths to take. I give her ideas that utilize wit instead of brute force. I suggest a few different courses of action that, whilst less simple than sticking a knife into one mans gut, may yield far better results for all concerned. At least, those who actually matter in this scenario.
And now, in the hours before dawn, alone in my rented room, I smile. A piece has just fallen into place for me. I am not innocent. I am not pure in any sense of the word. But I am a person who will seek a better, less destructive path, if afforded the opportunity to do so. I am a person who would encourage others to do the same.
There is light yet within my fractured reflection.
