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An Idiot's Guide to Survival

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A single page from a fresh new book found within the Bree Scholar's Archive, author Hrongar.

By now you're wondering why anyone would be stupid enough to be a soldier, or one of those adventurers who wear heavy armour. There is nothing worse than a set of plate mail for a number of reasons. Firstly, it is a suit of metal, often incredibly cumbersome and will tire you quickly, even during travels, unless you are the most seasoned of veterans. And if that's the case, congratulations, you did not die. You made it!

Secondly, you will cook alive inside your armour on a hot day and likely be forced to remove it. And we all know how much gold you forked out. Lastly, people like me will laugh at you for your misfortune and not feel bad about it. That does not have to be you if you stick to some good, sturdy leather and perhaps a bit of chain mail. When you are out and about, mobility is your best friend.

Speaking of which, there is no shame in running. Unless your commander is watching and you know he'll gut you like a fish at first sign of desertion. In which case, you're probably going to die, and not comfortably in your bed like the smart people. However, if you are willing to throw away ancient tradition and values in favour of self-preservation, then keep reading!

The art of escape is seldom utilised due to a few annoying little parts of our minds. The biggest culprit being pride. Being too proud to run from certain death has surely seen many killed. I estimate that hubris is the leading cause of death in all Gondorians, Rohirrim and even some Bree-landers between the ages of fifteen and forty. There is no thrill like escaping from danger, or better yet, getting past it undetected and unscathed. Such brings its own pride.

Being able to spot the signs of danger and perceiving when something is about to happen is also a vital skill to not dying. Remain vigilant at all times, even in a place where you think you are safe. If you spot a shady group of thugs eyeing you from across the bar, finish your drink and calmly leave the tavern. Then run like sheep from wolves. That's just an example, but the same principles can be applied to countless scenarios.