You know I never truly understood the dishonor that was spoken of Sellswords untill I became one. As a kid, I almost always fantasized of holding a lifestyle like that. Being able to make my own coin, an exciting life. Adventure, freedom. I became something else first, lost myself, now I am this. I have no honor, honor is just a foolish concept humans made to bind themselves to each other. In the end, being an honorable man will lead you to like the man Gigglio-pants and I tortured awhile back. Fuck, if the watch ever found this journal they could lock me up for life. How about this, I make you a deal. I will tell you how I lost myself, and you keep my secrets.
I came to Bree, I didn't do much at first. Just tried to find something, I ended up in Beggar's Alley. I was a petty thief, I stole food, drinks, jewelry. The normal for Beggar's Alley thieves I suppose. And then I met a company named Indignation. They became my family for awhile. I think the first /real/ thing I did in Indignation was kidnapping and torturing Lady Aellwenn Estellin. We tortured her, untill Levarris and his gang of misfits came to save her. It was all real simple.
There was also the kidnapping of Addiel, but to be honest, I took no part in that myself. I only saw the aftermath of the actions. I've gotten myself in many fights, stabbed Lord Amnis Gadreel, who later became a close friend. I held knives to men's throats for disrespecting me, I manipulated other's minds for my own benefit. To be honest, I cannot say I am all too proud of that time in my life. It was filled with nothing but fear and anxiety. It didn't help I always had one person or another trying to stab me. Though to be honest, I would have stabbed them first if I had the chance.
But then our work started dying down. We signed a treaty with the nobles and tried helping criminals. Though that always backfired. One case almost got me arrested, I sort of yelled and hit a watchman for arresting an innocent man. Then the watchman went to arrest me, but his fellow watcher decided to let me off since I looked innocent enough. See, I told you about the manipulation thing I tend to be good at.
After time, a man I met who spoke to me about working for him as a sellsword. That sparked my interest. And between that and being stabbed everyday in Indignation, it made me wish to take a new route. So that's what I did, though I couldn't find the man like I intended to originally work for, and instead I came to the Bloody Dawn.
It was a week after I joined the Dawn that I was kidnapped. I won't go into detail about that, let's just say I came out with more scars than I could possibly count. I still make it a sport to mock the Harad man who helped kidnap me. But anyways, there was that.
After that, I mostly worked for the Bloody Dawn under mostly one man's orders. My job with the Dawn itself hasn't involved me in much crime. The closest thing would be either assisting in the capture of a man and woman or murdering orcs. But I do work on contracts, as well as contracts on my own. Though there is one friend I have made, I call him Gigglio-pants. I am sure I told you of him in the past. He and I have done some... rather unpleasant things. For one we kidnapped a man and removes his hands, tortured him, did other things. Though we've also done things such as getting drunk in the Pony and chase down killers.
Though currently I have a contract with the Dawn, I am not going to go into details now about it. I may later. But all of that shit I just told you has made me come to realize is becoming passionate for one thing or for reason destroys you in the end. Caring only leads to pain. Love is just a gateway to sorrow.
