She beheld him, her cheeks blazed red with blush, and needless to say that his did too. Both in shock; neither had words, neither knew what to say. However, some one had to break the silence or the awkwardness of the moment, Haedley wished to nestle deeper beneath his blanket like a turtle that could hide in its shell when faced with danger. It was an awkward exchange of stares, and both of them felt it.
The Blooming
Chapter III
For a while they stared in the cold of morning, Melowen was wearing only the clothing that she wore beneath her armour. Thankfully for Haedley it did not reveal much of anything; he felt as though he was shrinking as the stare-down persisted.
"Good morning."
She said at last.
"Good morning."
He greeted back and seemed to nestle deeper into his blanket.
Both of their cheeks were red. They were nervous and shy. Melowen sat on the bed that her companion slept in and so reached for her boots and began to place her feet into them. Meanwhile Haedley's blue eyes remained perked out as he watched her. There was silence. Neither of them knew what to say to one another, and after the previous night Haedley did not know what she thought of him. He was glad enough to know that she would still greet him, and though this lightened his heart he wished for so much more within. There were times when Melowen would look up to him and their gaze met for the briefest of moments.
At last her shoes were on and now the awkwardness of the moment could only grow greater. For she seemed to linger and remain as though she wished his company, but all he could do was watch her. There was unease within both of them, yet Haedley's mind seemed to have forgotten all about his duty that was soon to be begun, for many men were now eating their breakfast while Haedley still lied in bed.
"Sorry... "
Melowen said, breaking the silence.
"Nay, I am sorry. You have naught to blame yourself for."
Said he, turning to press his face into the pillow and dip his hands beanth it.
"I have something to blame myself for,"
She insisted,
"I shouln't have..."
There was an obvious tension in the matter between them. It was as though Melowen wished for and enjoyed his kiss and wished that he would not have fled after it; as though she too bore guilt for his mood and this was a queer thing. Haedley's mind was similar, he thought that he should not have done what he did and knew very well that he was not thinking right. In his mind he sought to excuse himself of it many times, but never could he justify his reasoning as to why he kissed her; all seemed to have made little sense.
"No, it's just that I am not the kind, we just met,"
She said at last; breaking the new silence,
"I shouldn't have...."
Now the rest took her even more courage to share,
"Kissed you like so."
Then Haedley was silent, but glad! For he knew that there was an answer to his kiss and now she admitted to it. Yet he still did not know what to say to her, he was silent. Thinking to himself of what to say to her, if he could say anything. His mind was a mess and his courage was nigh completely shattered. One would think him to be a hopeless cause. At length he looked to behold her and was still silent as he watched, then the words came to him and his lips soon parted to speak.
"It was my fault. I kissed you. You had naught to do with it. I should not have, it was folly of me, I am truly sorry for it."
He said with a great amount of courage and embarrassment.
"But I let you."
She said, softening her tone.
And once again there was silence between the two as the tension had risen, and Haedley's heart begin to knock hard in his chest, he was still afraid of what she would think of him. Though the inevitable was coming, as he gazed upon her he could tell that loved her. No matter how rough her edges were, no matter how she may now hate him. He loved her. Yet he dearly wished that she would love him back, and began to feel at unease in his heart because of it.
He had all these feelings and thoughts conflicting in him. He shivered and now wished to pull the blanket over his head and hide from her, but he did not. He mustered all the courage that he could and beheld her with a softening gaze, seeking for words and afraid of what any words may bring. He wished anything but to repel her, yet he spoke his mind and heart in the words that came.
"I am truly sorry that I did that. I can now see that you regret it, and wish it be undone."
He said to her.
"No..."
She tried to speak,
"No!"
She suddenly exclaimed,
"No, I do not regret it. I mean, I regret to- if-..."
She struggled to find the right words,
"I regret the impression that I may have given. But I do not regret the kiss."
She finished.
Then there was a mutual nervous feeling between the both of them, both of their cheeks burnt in unison with red blush. Haedley then did not know what to say, he was blank. He stared at her with some disbelief, for disbelief it was and it was so great that he forget to be gladdened for these words, in his heart he truly was so. His doubts of her love not loving him had begun to fade, yet he could not think of it. His mind was a mess and his heart was filled with joy, a combination of feelings that is not rare when it comes to matters of the likeliness.
"Now that we're more calm. We can know each other better, hm?"
She asked soon enough in the silence.
Then Haedley's joy and appreciation was great, for what he had wished for was coming true. She wished to know him, and he wished to know her. He could not keep up with the pace of his happiness and everything seemed to go so swiftly within his excitement, his mouth open and he began to speak many words. Yet Melowen gave him his full attention, even if his tongue was swift in his enthusiasm; like a racer who had forgotten not to run before the master said 'go'.
"I have always ever lived here in Harwick, I sometimes go to see my mother. She has many nice flowers in her garden, and she bakes lovely--..."
He halted, knowing his folly and blushed,
"I am sorry. What of you, what are the Sutcrofts like?"
He asked quickly.
"No no, it is nice. Tell me."
She urged him,
"The sutcrofts are mostly farms. Farms and plains. Tell me of yourself."
Haedley was shy, yet he was indeed willing to continue to speak. Thus after a nod and a smile he continued, remembering to speak slowly that she may better understand his words.
"My mother. She is old, and she does not walk so swift, but I visit her sometimes, and we sit in her garden and we eat her pie. She has the most beautiful garden in Rohan."
He said, smiling fondly as he thought upon it. Then something came to mind and he continued:
"There are flowers of many kinds, I think that you would like it too."
Then Haedley smiled at her, and she smiled back. Though his shyness took a hold and his gaze was lowered to the ground nearby, his cheeks turned red with blush, yet he was happy. His face then eventually pressed into the pillow and he said something, but it was muffled and could not be heard. Their conversation continued as Melowen spoke.
"I had a farm. Well, me and my siblings. Not a pretty garden, but my sister was really good at growing flowers on the windowsills."
She said and drew Haedley's attention quickly.
"What were they like, their colours?"
He asked.
"She loved red a lot, so they were in many shades of red. When they were blossoming it was beautiful to behold."
She answered with and giggled.
Haedley was perhaps thought that it was strange to hear her giggle, but it made him smile warmly as he watched. His surprise was not so great, and his smile grew. Then he asked her a question.
"What kind of flowers is your favourite?"
He asked.
"The poppy,"
She answered,
"Alone, it is not so pretty: fierce in colour, the poppy is however shaggy, somewhat asymmetric, ruffled. Yet, when in the field, together with its companions, dotting the fair crops in bright red and moving in the wind, it's a magnificent sight to behold."
Haedley smiled fondly at her, acknowledging and delighting in the fact that she too enjoyed flowers; more specifically glad that he could know what flower she loved most, and he thought that this could tell him much of her: for it is often when folk seem to delight in things that are to their likeliness; something that describes them, thus breaking lonely walls. For knowing that one is not alone in plight is a great relief, knowing that something else could understand their hearts. However can flowers really understand some one or the way that they feel, or is it the person who has the likeliness of a flower who understands how the flower feels?
Then he imagined Melowen standing alone in fierceness, yet unable to shine alone, but then thought of her among several others who are alike to her and imagined that together they can stand strong against the battering winds of the world and will prevail against all that is cast towards them.
Then he laughed and made himself comfortable within his bed, enjoying the warmth he was reluctant to get out; the thought that he is neglecting his duty not seeming to occur to him.
"It is a good choice, I like it,"
He said, smiling,
"It is a good choice, aye. Like folk... they sometimes feel pointless when they are alone."
He added.
"They become beautiful when many, and their beauty is not in the shades of colour, or shape of their petals."
She said with a smile.
Then Haedley felt almost overwhelmed with happiness. His smile was bright, and he was thinking of much. Yet he began to muster his courage for something, something daring. He swallowed to steel his nerves as he looked upon her with intent. He wished to know her thoughts in their silence, he wished to know if she was thinking like him; but that was not what he said next. HIs lips parted with a hint of hesitation and soon he was able to speak.
"You are beautiful too."
He said.
And then thoughts of her seemed to play happily within his head. His words were shy, but now he did not wish to hide after them. But Melowen looked away swiftly, her cheeks were blushing brightly, she was growing fond of him too, this was plain to see. And in all her fierceness Haedley had managed to struck her in a way that she had not expected. Slowly he was removing her armour that she kept about herself for protection for the threat of sweet tongues, though she may have felt reluctant it seemed as though she wished it all come off so that his may words may strike her with love.
"Thank you, you are kind"
She said.
And in their hearts both of them became glad. Haedley nestled into the blanket, wishing that it was her, Melowen's hand ran through her flaxen locks of hair as she seemed to think of his words, and they only gladdened her more. Yet she herself was nervous, perhaps even frightened of what may become of this. However her dreams were and always shall remain greater than her love for a man, and she would not surrender these dreams for any man, not even Haedley. Yet Haedley in his heart would not wish for her to do so, he would rather that she pursue what it is that her heart wished. For he cannot bear any grudge against her for this. She made him happy, and in turn he seemed to do the same for her. She planted her feet firmly upon the ground and then stood up, she seemed to rise tall as she looked down upon Haedley who remained in the warmth of his bed.
"I should go have breakfast."
She said.
He smiled at her and gave her a nod. Off she went to the stairs, but his eyes followed her back. His smile only seemed to grow wider. He was in love, and he knew it. There was an odd feeling in his stomach and it made him feel good. They were beginning to bloom together like two bright beautiful flowers spreading their petals in the sunlight.
Then an idea came to mind in Haedley's head. She is a strong woman, perhaps she would appreciate a strong man. Like the man that came there with her. Then he wondered to think if she would like to see him strong as the other man. Though he did not know how to show her this. It was not long before he recalled what the man did in the Morning. The push ups that he did upon the floors beside the beds. So Haedley pushed himself up and his warm feet came upon the cold floor with some dismay. He did not like the feeling and immediately wished to be back in his bed where it was warm and comfy. He looked upon the floor and lifted his toes as he considered nervously.
He wondered if he could do this, if he had the strength to even try. Yet perhaps trying was not so necessary as much her seeing him do it; he thought that she would like him more if her were strong and handsome like a brave Rider with a strong sword-arm. The kind who are spoken in great tales. Keeping this thoughts in mind Haedley kneeled and thus lower his chest upon the ground. His hands came to his sides and he heaves with all his strength.
He smiled, it did not seem so difficult, thus he heaved again, again, again and again. Rising and lowering as much as he can. Though he grew weary quickly and stood up, remembering now the manner that the strong man had done this. He removes his shirt and set it upon his bed, then he lowers himself down and began once more. His body rising and lowering with each push.
Heave! Heave! Heave!
He went, and began to grow weary again. He stopped and then realized that he was not so cold any more; warm and a bit sweaty. With a smile on his face he began to draw breaths, taking respite; yet he had motivation not to rest over long so it was soon before he was down upon his chest and heaving with all his strength and wearied arms once more.
Heave! Heave! Heave!
He went. Though he knew that it would be soon before his arms could no longer lift him. Though it was then when he began to hear footsteps upon the stairs...
HEAVE! HEAVE! HEAVE!
He went on! Thinking that it would be Melowen, and it was. She had finished her breakfast and watched him as she came up the stairs. Haedley's arms were crying for him to cease, but he would not. He thought that she was watching him and he did not wish to look weak in her eyes. This was motivation. on he heaved and pushed with what little might was in his arms then he soon heard some one sit down upon the bed where the strong man slept, and then hope was lost, for he thought that it would be the strong man himself. Haedley lowered on his chest and seemed to lie there like that. All sweaty and hot!
Haedley's gaze lifted to behold who he thought to be Melowen's companion, yet it was her. His cheeks blushed red yet again and he began to stand, almost forgetting that he was bare chested. Now he thought himself strong and mighty, hoping that he impressed her. It seemed that he did, for her gaze seemed to linger upon his chest. It was a queer feeling for him, that a woman was looking upon him so.
He looked down upon his chest, "Sorry!" He said and reached for his shirt, "No..." She seemed to say and he gave her a curious look. She did not wish him to recloth himself, and perhaps this gladdened him. For he liked that she admired him without a shirt. Then his thoughts seemed to go eslewhere, very far away. His cheeks only blushed brighter and hers did too. His eyes went wide and everything seem awkward then. He wondered if she would state her reason for declining him his shirt, though it seemed she could not. He put it on and she looked away as though naught had happened.
"I should have gone with you to eat."
Said Haedley, feeling hungry.
"I'm sorry."
Said Melowen, seeming to apologize much,
"I should have brought you something."
She finished.
Haedley loved that she seemed to consider him, though in a way he did not wish it. For he did not think her a woman that would spend her days serving a man and tending to his needs. He thought he proud and strong, she should not serve an man; not even himself as an exception.
"Nay, Melowen. You are a shield-maiden."
He said kind-heartedly,
"not a servant."
Though she was delighted by his words there seemed to be something on her mind that was troubling her. She did not seem willing to speak of it, as though it truly were a bad thing that she was afraid of.
"I am no shield-maiden, not yet."
She said eventually.
"But you are in my eyes, Melowen. For you look strong and proud. Like a shield-maiden,"
he said in response.
"Even if it does forbid you many things - perhaps love,"
he added sadly.
Then there was silence between the two once more as though there were a weight holding the both of them down, and sadness gripping their tongues. It was strange and perhaps even scary for them. They had trouble thinking of this, and the thought perhaps seemed to hurt. Some one had to take their mind from the matter and bring up something else, yet what would that something else be. This was perhaps a trial between the two of them. Who would be able to change the subject of speech?
"Perhaps you can meet my mother sometime. I think that you will like her too."
Haedley said.
"I don't know..."
Said Melowen with much on her mind.
Then Haedley had fallen shy once more:
"I am sorry,'
He said, thinking those words were too soon.
"No, no. I-..."
Melowen tried to speak, but words failed her,
"I wish. But it's difficult now, perhap,."
she said and added,
"When the war finally ends."
Then there was a hopeful look on Haedley's face, he was excited, he wished for her to come see him and he did not wish for her to be parted from. Though he dearly wished that she would also some day meet his mother, for there is little love greater than that of a child and their mother.
"Really?"
He asked quickly in his excitement,and asked more,
"and then will you come here more often?"
"When the war is over I will have lots of free time, so why not?"
She said happily.
Then Haedley's excitement was greater than it was ever before, he was happy and in love. He did not know what to make of all of his feelings, yet he did not think much upon them. He thoughts dwelled upon Melowen and he was dearly grateful for her words and now began to think that he owes her something in turn for this. Perhaps even if it is only something that may happen, not caring for much for that though delighting in her words.
"I will wait for you. And I will pick a pink flower for you every day until you come back."
His words were sincere and wrought from his heart.
"I promise,"
he finished.
"I will take a tooth from every orc that I slay.
She said strangely,
"And I will bring them to you, as a gift"
She was just as sincere.
And though this gesture was strange Haedley loved it, he was glad that she thought of him too as he did for her. For Melowen was no subtle woman, she knows very little save for battle which she delights in, thus thinking that such a gift would be fitting. Wrought of her own work, the things that she knows.
"Thank you,"
Haedley said.
And then he suddenly remembered that he was late. He was very late for his duty. He sprung up and looked to Melowen with widened eyes.
"I am late!"
He exclaimed,
"I must go now!"
And thus he hurried off and they were parted once more, though something like this surely would not have fallen well on Haedley's end. He was a good lad and often does his duties rightly, but the duties that he was bestowed was naught to be fooled with. He enjoyed guarding the Thane's doors more than any other duty that a soldier would have and many things began to hurry through his head, he was afraid of what might happen; fearing that he would be sent away from Harwick, or worse: sent to Stangard. Though his fear was perhaps exaggerated, yet necessary for what was to come.
