So Be It. Two.

When we met up again at Echad Eregion, less than a year ago, you told me you had ‘little to offer’.

I understood where your words came from, but I did not agree with you.

I do not agree now, when you tell me you can only offer us a year at the most. 

Despite what has recently transpired with me, with the Sea Longing, I find I have hope. 

War is coming, and far sooner than we expected. Far sooner than we wished. You may fall, that is true, though I think you underestimate your skills. I may fall. That is also true, for I will not sit at home while others perish defending me. I, too, am a child of the Noldor. We have spoken of this already, have we not? 

But I hear you. Tis not the war that concerns you so much, it is what follows. It is the long years in the care of Lord Namo.

Were you not a kinslayer we could both fight in this war knowing that eventually, soon even, we would be rehoused if slain, and reunited in Valinor. But you believe, and perhaps rightly, you will not be freed until the end of time? ‘Perhaps’ I say, because we do not know. That our ‘fear’(a) will encounter the corrections of the Doomsman, yes, I believe that. But forgive me for also believing all ill deeds are not equal, nor deserving of equal punishment. The leaders of the revolt against the Valar are all long gone, save the Lady Galadriel. The followers, among whom we are counted, still linger, though are small in number. Will we..will you meet the same treatment as Lords Celegorm and Curufin? I think not. Will you even meet the same treatment as our Lord Caranthir? I think not. 

So you see, beloved, I have hope. That should we be parted soon, it shall not be until the end of Arda. 

You say I shall be alone. That is true. But I have already spent six thousand years believing you slain. You say ‘find another’. Ha…I never looked for any in those long years. Why would I start now? When we danced at Midsummer, all I saw throughout time was you. 

I know what price I must pay if I choose this path. At the least I shall have more memories to sustain me.

You will not 'make me a prisoner!' You repeated that often through last night, both in the caverns and under the stars. I understand your concerns, but how can you make a prisoner of one who knows the cost, and freely chooses the path? You blame yourself when there is nothing to blame.

So I ask, let us live what time we have left together, as if we were young again. I know, I feel it too…a very late Spring granted us. That it be short lived is no reason to cast it aside. That it cannot last is no reason not to enjoy it in the time we do have. Tintalle does bless us you know, but we have to walk into and not away from that blessing. 

And though I look forward to departing Mithlond, and putting these past few challenging days behind me, I can sit on the harbour wall this morning and watch the ships coming and going. There are no voices in my mind, nor dark nor glorious visions. I will sail when I promised you I would, and not a day earlier. My mind is clear again.

I choose to spend what life I have with a kinslayer, who is yet so much more. I choose to be with you.

"So be it."


A) Fear - Spirits


(With thanks to Estarfin  for the picture yet again.)