The continued absence of Cyfier becomes ever more of a concern. I fear not that he is dead or wounded; I know him well enough to have learned that he always comes home. Sometimes this return takes longer than is prudent, or appreciated, but return he does. For once, I would rather it be sooner than later and I find my patience waning as my worry grows. Could it be that my child will be born without his - or her - father so much as being aware of the existance of his progeny? It might prove difficult to explain upon his arrival; were I of a less prudish nature, I might fear that he not claim the child as his own, perhaps thinking that I had strayed. However, he knows very well of my issues with intimacy of any nature, so that does not concern me.
"I did not believe that you would be gone for so long."
"I did not wish to distract you from your purpose."
"I tried to find you."
Whilst each of these statements is true, are they particularly valid? Are they acceptable under the circumstances? I sincerely hope so.
In the meantime, my thoughts turn to names. I find it saddening, and somehow wrong, that I am choosing them without the input of my love. However, as time flies by, it becomes ever more apparent that he may not be home in time to aid me in this task. The child cannot go through its first weeks or months with no name, thus I must make the selection myself. Should he return before the birth, then I shall certainly welcome his suggestions. We both played our part in the creation of this new life, it is only fitting that we collaborate on the naming also.
