Finally, he found me.
It has been such a mixed day. To begin with, I travelled to to Bree as I had promised only to find myself speaking with a strange woman who mumbled a lot. Her message was received, but I find that I was unable to reply in any befitting manner. In truth, even had we been able to speak openly I would likely have said very little. I do not know her, thus I do not feel that I can trust her.
Upon returning to Nen Harn, I set about checking my snares for rabbits. Poor Arugru is, as yet, in no fit state to hunt for himself so I must be certain to ensure he has an adequate meat supply. It was as I was doing so that a man jumped out of a bush at me and made demands for answers. Upon refusal, the twit accused me of being an angmarim noble! Part of that is true, of course, leading me to wonder just who has betrayed my confidence this time. I am most vexed, but am I truly surprised?
Thoughts of further betrayal and the knowledge that I am under continued scrunity forced me to change my mind concerning the safety of my island sanctuary. Yes, I am safe there - or relatively so at least - but were my love to be seen visiting me, Seaver would learn of it and no doubt turn it into an opportunity to strike at him. Not wishing to run the risk of inadvertantly bringing harm to my beloved, I sent Minalmano with a message to him.
There is one last place I can be certain is safe. It was to that place that Arugru and I slowly made our way. There, beneath the huge oak I had once spent my days beside, I awaited his arrival. I was so very relieved when, in late afternoon, he found me there.
We spoke at length. I told him all that I could concerning the present circumstances. He grew worried then, fearing that he might be seen in this place and that I might come to harm because of it. As ever, he was more concerned for my well-being than his own; a view I mirror perfectly! Still, we were already there, any risk had already been taken thus, for the first time in so long, we spent time together within the walls of an abode.
So many memories arise in this place. Everything has been left just as it was when last I was here. Not so much as a book had been moved in the room I once called my own. We sat within, he and I, upon my old bed. We spoke of the past initially, but to my surprise he turned the conversation to the future. I had little choice but to admit that I have barely dared to allow my mind to drift in that direction for fear that any tentative fantasy of mine might yet be ripped from my grasp by the cruel hands of fate. He found that amusing for he is by far more practical, or perhaps cynical, of mind.
Regardless, he spoke to me of dreams; whilst sleeping he sees images of us in a comfortable house in Far Chetwood. The idea is very appealing to me for I have always felt at peace in that place and with Cyfier by my side I think I might finally become convinced that one small place within this wretched Bree-land could truly become my home. Further discussion resulted in him promising to see to having plans drawn up. It is amazing, I think, that given all that transpires these days, he and I could be making plans to build a home together. He is confident that we will see this through and all will be well; my natural pessimism makes it difficult for me to have faith in such an outcome, but his certainty is inspiring. If he can believe this, if he make plans now for a future that he had never before thought to realise, then it would be remiss of me to be anything but hopeful.
I want this. I want this future for us. I want peace and a home and for he and I to be together there, without threat or sufferance. I truly believe that we can be happy.
Perhaps it is this belief, coupled with the growing sense of danger and urgency, that led us to become closer than usual that night. Perhaps it was simply knowing beyond doubt that the man who held me so tenderly would never harm me, that he loves me and that with him I am, and will always be, safe. Whatever the reason, for the first time in my life, I found myself willingly engaging in partnership. I had believed myself beyond surprise in such things, having seen and been forced to do so much during my time in the brigand camps, but Cyfier proved me wrong; it was a thoroughly enjoyable event. I had not expected such based on past experiences and I certainly feel no regret for it.
He is gone now, seeing to other matters. I think, for just a moment, he knew real peace, as did I. Perhaps this taste of what our future could be will spur us both on to seeing it become more fact than fantasy. I see that house now. In my minds eye it stands but a little distant from the waters edge, small and cozy and nestled between the great trees. He sits upon the porch in the dappled afternoon sunlight, handsome and tranquil in the comfortable clothes I have crafted for him with my own hands. His armour and sword lie within a chest, somewhere within the depths of that house, gathering naught but dust in their disuse.
I dare to dream.
